For as long as I can remember, my hair has played a huge role in my identity.
Not because it was fantastic or pin-worthy. And not because it was horrible.
But because my hair told a story–my story.
A story, that for a long time, I wasn’t ready to share.
Then one day I felt vulnerable.
The good kind of vulnerable.
The kind of vulnerable that gives you courage to tell your story if it might, even in some small way, help someone else along in their journey.
So I swallowed my nerves, I typed it out and published my secret for anyone to read.
Over the years, I told you about my hair pulling.
My extensions–that I’ve had in religiously for the last 7 years.
My thinning patches.
My tips for covering bald spots.
My obstacles and frustrations…
The love and support I received from so many of you was overwhelming.
The love and support you showed EACH OTHER melted my heart and gave me strength.
But most importantly, you reminded me that I wasn’t alone–WE aren’t alone.
We all have something–something we don’t want the world to use to define us.
Some weakness we hope to turn into a strength.
Something we want to be brave enough to share with the world,
and be loved in return–regardless.
Thank you for making me feel loved–regardless.
Lately, I feel like my hair has been weighing me down.
Figuratively and literally.
It has felt tiresome. Like a burden.
I’ve lacked the motivation to style it.
My hair extensions started to feel like a constant reminder of my weaknesses.
And with the thinning areas on top feeling “extra” thin lately, I felt defeated every time I pulled out the blow dryer.
Also, have I mentioned that I’m turning 30 in a month?
Yeah, maybe that has a little something to do with it too 😉
I needed a fresh start.
So again, I swallowed my nerves. And called my dear friend Brittney.
Me: So are you ready to chop off all my hair? And no more extensions.
Brittney: Bring it on.
And so we did.
I LOVE long hair.
So I can’t exactly explain why I feel like a new person with my shorter locks–a person with more energy. A person not being held back. A person with the will power to resist the urge to pull…And you know what?…I’m not going to spend too much time trying to figure it out–I’m just going to embrace it.
Hair on Sunday, BEFORE chop chop (also, I had already removed my extensions).
For those who emailed asking, dress found here. I also have it in black.
Hair, without extensions, before cut.
No turning back now. 
Marcie
It is adorable !!!!! What a fun change
Nay @ coffee-n-ink
Hi there…as I look at these last few photos of your new cut, I see a new-ness in you…a sense of happiness and renewal. So happy for you and all of the other triumphs you will have this year. Go you!
Nikki J
Ashley it looks amazing!! And you do look like a new refreshed and energized version of your incredible self! I have followed you for at least 3 years now and you have been such an inspiration to me throughout so many points in life! I too turn 30 this year (March 16th Ahh!!) and as a momma to an awesome 5 year old boy, I understand what it feels like to need to do something big for yourself! Thank you for always sharing your life with all of us, it’s funny because I feel as if you are a dear friend of mine even though we’ve never even spoken to eachother! But you share the real you, and that is so refreshing in this world! So rock that new style lady because it looks amazing on you and it makes my heart happy to see you smiling so brightly again!!
Jonique
Love it short!
Kami
It’s darling! Because you’re darling! I love it! Change is good.
I’m pretty sure your friend Brittney was good friends in High School with my SIL Bree (Bigler) Hafen. – small world. 🙂
ninilili
You look amazing with that new haircut!
Teri Wendt
Praise God for your courage, I love it !!! It looks so beautiful and healthy and you are just gorgeous anyhow. You look like you feel like a burden has been lifted. I am happy for you !!!!! Please know that hair does not define who we are. After I decided to shave my head due to my first chemo treatment last March I felt so much better. My hair started growing back last July very slowly but you know what? I am loving my new faux hawk hair style. I am 53 years old and have always had long hair. I would never have done it on my own so God gave me a little push in that direction. You are a blessing and an inspiration to many.
Take care and God bless you and your family.
Teri Wendt
Cristina
you look gorgeous! it feets you really nice!!!
Melissa Horowitz
It’s so cute. You look amazing.
Amy
You look radiant! Love the haircut! Good for you !!
Gaya
Oh, You look Gorgeous with your new hair! Don’t worry it will grow back. And do try some natural treatments to your hair, and it will be thick again. 🙂
melle e
GayaLike what kind of natural treatments?? My hair is thinning. No hormone issues that we can find. Just a history of high dose long term steroids, methotrexate, and naturally thinning hair before all that started…
When I was younger I had thick gorgeous hair. I would do anything to have it back…
Thanks in advance for getting back to me!
Pidg
Love love love! Oh, I chop off my locks here and there and it’s so completely refreshing! I have naturally curly hair so no one ever wants me to cut it but the rebel in me soaks up the change 🙂 I adore this cut on you it’s so precious!
Vanessa Lowder
Its soooo cute!!!
Mandy
Love it! You look great! And so happy!
[email protected]
Oh Ashley. Your smile in the after pictures make my heart smile. I am excited to see this new change and how you embrace it. Love you lots friend and know I am always here to chat if you need to.
emma @ {from my little pink couch}
I **love** it!! Such a sassy cut!
Steph
I love love it!!! Super cute:) I loved seeing this first thing and was able to read with my coffee!!! I miss your posts:) also where is your shirt from???
Michelle
YES!!!!!!! It’s the best!!!! love love love it 🙂
Caroline
Proud of you for cutting your hair! You look more stunning with shorter hair! 🙂
April
I love your new ‘do– it looks great!
Jennifer Dawn
Oh my goodness! It truly looks incredible!
Audrey Crisp
Love it!!!! You look amazing! Good for you! I think I wanna cut mine too! It’s been driving me nuts lately. Good job!
Monica
You just took my breath away! I swear you are even cutter with it shorter! I am sitting here with my jaw on the floor. I love it! Whoa! You look amazing!!
April V
LOVE!!
Monkey
So proud of you! It’s looks fantastic!
Love you,
Mom
Mandy @ This Girl's Life
It is absolutely adorable and you look so happy with it – yay for being brave!
Danielle
LOVE it!! Gorgeous girl!
Kate
It’s ADORABLE!!! I love it!
Melanie
And then it was cute all over again!!!!
Rachel Nicole
Looks so cute on you! Love the new ‘do!
xo,
rn
http://www.rachelnicoleblog.com
Amber
You are so stinkin adorable!!
Teri
It looks fantastic! I love it – embrace the change!!
Marsha Kern
How cute! I love it!
Devin
Looks amazing! Love it!
Talysa
Love it! Seriously. So sassy. 🙂
Talysa
By the way…what color are your walls painted in that photo of you holding your son? Love.
Kristyn Stirling
I love it!!! You look gorgeous!!
Kelly
Adorable. I love it! This is a very cute cut for you.
Erin
I love it, you look so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story, it brings strength to so many.
Trish
Soooo cute!!
Johanna
I love it! You have inspired me to chop since I’ll be turning 40!! Also, where is your tshirt from. I have two young boys as well and always need a cute short to pull on fast!
Kendra
Wow! You look amazing with that hair!! Of course you did before but, really it is great!!
McCall
It TOTALLY suits you! What a doll!
Stacey
I love it! It looks so healthy. And it looks beautiful!
Liz Marie @ Liz Marie Blog
Obsessed with your hair!!!!!!!! You are making me want to go chop all mine off!! You look fabulous! xx Liz Marie
Danielle Warren
I just love your hair!!! You look happier in the pictures (even though you’ve always looked happy to me 😉 I’ve been debating cutting my locks too. Maybe I’ll just go do it!
Hallie
I absolutely love it! Makes me want to cut mine now! 🙂
Mandy
Yup I have been thinking of cutting mine too. Hmm maybe I should just do it. Yours looks amazing!
Rebecca @ My Girlish Whims
I think you would still look adorable even itf you had short spikey blue hair haha 🙂 Uh, not that i recomend that though. The new do looks awesome 🙂 haha
Katie Van Brunt
It’s adorable! I’m in love! I’ve been seriously debating (and Pinning like crazy) short hair cuts, too. I just need to get rid of the nerves I have. I identify with my long hair and am so afraid to let it go. Hubby wants me to cut it so I don’t spend as much time blow drying it. LOL I just don’t know!!! Proud of you!
sarah
You look fabulous and so happy! What a fantastic thing to do before you turn 30! I had a baby and turned 30 a week later 🙂
Tracy French
You look as beautiful as ever! I love the cut, it really fits you:)
Holly
Looks fantastic – and you look super happy!
kendall
You are SO beautiful momma! LOVE the new hair!
Caylie
I’ve been a long hair fanatic for a long time. I’ve worn extensions off and on for the last 7 years as well. I’m always feeling unsatisfied with the length of my own hair. But never never do I consider cutting it short. It’s sort of a pet peeve of mine when girls get married and cut off their long hair. BUT DANG you totally just changed my mind! Your hair looks soo cute short, it really tempts me to cut mine! Way to be brave, you are rocking it!
Sara
LOVE the hair! So cute! I actually just chopped mine off almost the exact same. Same thing, needed something new, something fresh… and I feel like a new woman! How do you style your hair? Do you use a curling iron or flat iron?
Leslie Wilkie
I’ve been reading your blog for a couple years and you are always such an inspiration. I love that you share who you really are. Your hair looks ; it’s kind of making me want to do the same!
Kristen @ LoveK Blog
It looks AMAZING! What a great way to start the new year! I already have my appointment set and inspiration photos ready for my next chop, and your new do is definitely getting added to the mix!
Christie
Love love love! Immediately saved this and called my hairdresser. GAW-JUS!
You have inspired so many, including myself. Your honesty is rare, your smile and wit come through in your words and are visible in your eyes. I’m still working on “my something” – I’m still struggling everyday, it’s true that we all have “our thing”. Therapy has been invaluable to me, always a work in progress. Good days, bad days. Great moments, then moments of weakness that seem to wreck all the progress.
Thank you. Just thanks 🙂
Christie
oh, and what kind of jeans are you wearing? love the fade!
Caycie
I love it! You look absolutely adorable.
steph nelsen
you are adorable! your smile makes me want to smile back : )
Erin
Oh friend! I love it so much, can’t wait to see it in person.
Linda
You’re a total babe! Love this look on you!
Abby
Wow, you look stunning!! I LOVE it! You are such a brave lady and I truly admire you. You look perfect! 🙂
lichita
you look better with a short hair… its fantastic
Tery
It’s BEAUTIFUL and looks so healthy. You are a beautiful woman to begin with
and the shorter lengthy is awesome. It’s funny…I ever so many years will
cut my hair just for something new and to get it in better shape. I just
did that a couple of months ago and read your post, admired your long hair, thought
about getting extensions and wished my hair was longer. My hair is about
your new length and I love it. You can still rock a ponytail, a messy bun …it’s a very
versatile length.
You look great and your hair is amazing!
antiquechase
that looks adorable on you and so sassy.I love love love it! way to go!
marcy
brenda
looks great and just think of the extra time you will have with this new freedom. curious about how the boys reacted when they saw Mommy’s new haircut.
Michelle H.
Were you hiding such a beautiful face and amazing eyes behind all that hair?! …this new haircut brings focus to your real beauty .
Heather Henricks
You are so beautiful and so brave! I love your new haircut – AND your gorgeous, happy smile!!!
Kelly
Now you’ve done it! I totally wanna chop my hair off too!!!!!!
Rikki Sophia
Hi Ashley, your new haircut looks SO cute! I love it and you look so happy! Thank you for sharing 🙂
Marly Budde
I love it! Short hair looks anazing on you.
Andrea Worley
Beautiful! Shorter hair is so fun isn’t it!?!
Melanie
You are beautiful. Inside and Out. Absolutely love the new style you’re rockin!!!
Melissa
It looks incredible!! I love it!!!!
sheri
I have been following your blog but never commented. I thought it took so much courage when you initially posted about your hair. You are a beautiful young lady and I LOVE your new cut. You are simply adorable.
Wendy Orme
Such a cute new ‘do!
melle e
You’re hair cut is amazing. I use long hair to hide my thinning hair, too… Every once.in a while I get crazy and cut it short but.my Hubbs hates that and as soon as it’s short (like chin length bobs?) I hate it too… But what you’ve done?
I’m saving your pic and taking it with me…
I love it!
Nicole
You look GREAT!! I love your new haircut! Congratulations on this hard endeavor. You are amazing and such a great role model for so many people. Thanks!
julianne
It looks amazing! You are so beautiful!
Shirley
Hey good looking! Love, Love your hair! The movie stars on TV has cut their hair and they don’t have anything over you.
Dalia
I love it!! Love the new look.
shirley
I almost never comment on blogs but Oh holy crap you look gorgeous! Absolutely love the new cut!!!
Mandy Crosbie
Gorgeous!!!
Love it! 🙂
Tori I.
You mentioned hair pulling so I’m assuming you had Trichotillomania (but it doesn’t seem to be super bad) but either way, the cut is very cute and I love the pictures and in some ways, know the struggle (but more with my eyebrows and eyelashes rather than the hair on my head). Since it’s hard to stop, I wish you much luck! 🙂
Erin @ The Grass Skirt
I absolutely love it!
Jill
Beautiful! Looks great on you!
Amy K.
Ashley!! It’s beautiful. Capital-B BEAUTIFUL!!
Faith
Thanks for sharing your story..
Keeping it utterly amazingly real.
That rocks!!
The hair looks adorable!
Faith
Stephanie
Love Love it!! Looks great !! I have been thinking about cutting my hair as well:)
Leilani
New Year! New Look! I always say to my clients 🙂 I am a hairstylist and I understand your crown journey. I have serveral clients with the same challenge. I LOVE this New Do on you! Gives you a bold, mature and yet graceful look! Let yourself shine! Happy New Year …God Bless you and have Favor over you and your beautiful family!
Leilani
LeilaniOh and Happy Birthday! This is when you will really enjoy who you are! Something about the 30’s you really find your inner self! Enjoy!
Maxime
It looks beautiful!! And you!!!! You look HAPPY.
Alisha
While I loved your long hair, it looks really, really nice. I had long hair forever and one day decided I wanted and needed a change. I went pretty short a few years back and it felt so great. I can’t even explain it. I imagine the same way you’re probably feeling right now.
Happy early birthday!
lucy at dear beautiful
The new do looks amazing. Absolutely love it. And I’m so glad you’re feeling so happy in your own skin (and hair!)
x
Shelly
Ashley, you are still beautiful as ever! Long or short, either way looks great on you!
Mandy @ Sugar Bee Crafts
so fresh and perfect!
SarahP
ADORABLE!!!! You look amazing (and strong!), as usual!! 🙂
jodi
Please tell us more about the actual cut – I LOVE it, and I LOVE it on you. I am thinking of cutting mine to this length – actually had an appointment last week, but the salon needed to reschedule. Blah. I’d love to take your photo in for inspiration. can you give more details – layering? shorter in the back? Thanks!
Jenn H
LOVE your hair!! It looks so good on you and I’m so jealous. I’ve had long hair for a while and, like everyone else that has commented, I now want to cut my hair shorter. You’ve completely inspired me. I just turned 31 and I can tell you that 30 isn’t bad at all. I have loved being 30 and always thought I would hate it. I know more now than ever who I am. So far being in my 30’s has been awesome. And now you have a FABULOUS hair cut to usher you into your 30’s. It will be great!
Ashley
I love the new haircut!! I am a fellow hair puller and I recently cut my hair shorter like yours as well, so I can totally relate! I was never styling my hair anymore and it totally felt like it was dragging me down. Since I cut my hair my best friend and sister have been convinced to do so as well. Sometimes we all just need a fresh start!
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Looks FAB! You are adorable;)
Erin @ Living In Yellow
Ahhhh oh my goodness girl I love this! You look better than ever 🙂
Heather
So much cuter! (And you look so happy!) I feel like long hair is so generic. I love to see personality. Good for you!
kim- Today's Creative Blog
You are the most adorable thing I’ve seen all day!
Jordan
It’s so adorable and it looks great on you!!
Laura
stunning!!
Kelly
Wow, it looks absolutely gorgeous!
Nicole @ EverlyEmil
You look AMAZING!! I love it pretty lady!
xo
ashley
i LOVE it! wow! seriously, so cute and sexy and sweet! 🙂
Kristine
You look absolutely stunning! I love it!
Gina
Wow! I love it!!! Great cut for you!
Becky
I just had a friend tell me about your blog today. I am so excited to follow your story!
I have a 7 year old who has tricho and has done since she was a baby! But now being in 2 nd grade and severely struggling in school it has gotten worse because of the anxiety and this is how she self soothes! THANK YOU, for sharing your story!!!
JessiAnn
I have done the same drastic thing! And let me tell you, according to the hair books, you’re hair is still considered “long” :). Now, can you do a tutorial on how you styled it for the pics??
Nena Fisher
It looks great. A good length. Long enough to still style a bit but still quite the amount cut off.
Lori Ann
You look radiant! And refreshed! Thanks for sharing this post!
Jessica
You are ADORABLE! I love this! Thanks for the honest and real post – LOVE IT!
Katie Albury
Wow…absolutely gorgeous! Well done for being brave…I said that once I turned 30 I’d chop my locks too but still haven’t go around to it!
Katie x
http://www.missenchanting.co.uk/
lisa Jones
Love the cut, very cute. I think you look great with the long hair!
Kenzie ♥
You are absolutely gorgeous! I love that hairstyle on you! I might just have to show my hair stylist this picture when I get my hair cut next ;D
Stopping by from Erin’s! I’m excited to have found your blog!!
Jenn M.
You look SO beautiful. Like a completely different person!
Catherine
Great cut! Could you share how you styled it? My hair is the same length and I’ve yet to figure out how to get the loose curls you’re rocking.
Thanks!
Renee Swafford
WOW!! you look lovely miss. I do not not think I have ever seen you smile so big. I love it! and I hope you found the change you were looking for. I can see it is written all over your face! GORGEOUS!
Christi
I love the hair. I am going to have to read what the secret is… apparently I am behind on my reading. Again I LOVE the new style.
Lourdes
Oh my goodness!! I absolutely love it! You still look like you, just different but in an amazing way.
Jan
Short hair suits you well. You look beautiful 🙂
Michelle
Sexy!!!! But more importantly: HAPPY!
Good work, Momma!
Xander
Love love love your new hairdo!
Ashley Smith
Hello Ashley,
I never thought that I would read this in your blog as I myself go through the same things. a good section of my hair is no more than 1 – 1.5 inches long. I struggle with this ever single day of my life. The best way I describe it is, imagine if you were an alcoholic and rum came out of your finger tips. I am attached to my addiction/habit and I take it everywhere I go. It makes me sad because I don’t feel pretty without a beautiful crowning glory and every morning I do my best to cover up the short spots. There are time where I go a long time without pulling my hair and I think “wow! I actually did it, I beat it this time!” only to spiral back into the dark tunnel of Trich. I hope you write more on this topic because it has helped me and is motivating me to get better with it.
Thank you again for sharing.
— Ashley
Christen
You are beautiful!! Love the new hair!
Jessica
It looks great! How did you get that fantastic wave? A curling iron or a ceramic iron?
Lolly Jane
Love it! So so flattering on you! (:
Dott
Ah, your 30s are such a great time!! Of course, everyone said that to me too and it didn’t change how I felt. But I am thankful to be turning 39 this year and actually looking forward to my 40s instead of dreading them. 🙂
P.S. LOVE THE HAIR!!
lacey logan
Love your new hair, it is so cute on you! I need to learn how to curl my hair like that!
trichstop
Don’t know if the decision to cut your hair was trichotillomania related or not. Anyway, it looks nice! And your courage and spirit encourage me! Keep it up Momma!
Po.St
Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after browsing through some of the post I
realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and
I’ll be bookmarking and checking back frequently!
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Hi, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your website in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in
Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted
to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, very good blog!
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The development team will likely get rid of the gender-switching in the next
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Claudia
Hi,
I love your haircut you look more younger. But I have a question. Your hair color is natural or if you use something what product and color you use? Tks and really nice blog.
Linda Mae
Thank you for sharing your story. Your new ‘do is fabulous. My daughter who is 7 has been pulling since she was 6 months old. All the doctors told me she would grow out of it and now 7 years later she still hasn’t. But hearing your story gives me a little insight into what she is going through. Even though you don’t have the answers, your story still brings encouragement to those who have.
Danielle
I love long hair (and I have been trying to grow it out forever), but I absolutely love your new cut. Fresh and spring-y.
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Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she
can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83
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Jennifer
my son has trich and he is 8…. we are working through it the best we can, but it is so HARD sometimes. I always worry about him, and hope that we will get this worked out. He has NO eyebrows, and NO eyelashes… and I am a mess because of it…. Everyday I hope and pray that someone will be able to help him! Thank you for having the courage to tell your story… The more stories like yours get out, the more understanding the world will be! This can be a really rough world and life to live, but we must remember that we never know what inner battles people are fighting every. single. day!
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Hi! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new apple iphone!
Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts!
Keep up the superb work!
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I constantly spent my half an hour to read this webpage’s posts
all the time along with a cup of coffee.
RJ
You would still be hot even with a Mohawk, but your long hair was transcendant!
rebecca
I love it. What I like most is you look happier and your spirit seems lighter. Enjoy.
Jade Meneguel
I did the same and I loved it!! You look stunning with short hair 🙂
Kim
I’m taking these pictures to my hairdresser this week! It’s beautiful, sophisticated, but still so fun!
charlotterose
agh this is me! i usually can’t explain why my hair is important to me,yet at the same time i really do know it is just hair and yet you summarized it perfectly. hah.
currently extension free for the first time in 3 years and its…different…ah!
love your hair…and excited for a new site to read! 🙂
GeAnna
Hey Ashley! I just found your blog and it means so much that you shared your secret with the world! I’ve had trick since I was 12 (now 25). The only thing that I have found that helps me is only washing my hair twice a week. Teasing and dry shampoo’ing the crown of my hair makes it a lot harder for me to pull from that area. I still relapse on days where I’m really stressed or my hair is clean but I don’t do it every day like I used to! Thank you for your tips, I can’t wait to read your posts and learn from your experiences as well as my own! Thank you so much
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Kate
It is worth having the courage to cut off such a large amount of hair! But you are well done, it suits you very well! It is important not to do it yourself, with improvised means, so as not to spoil the hair. Using barber scissor sets will give your hair a much more pleasant appearance