Lil W Scheduled for Surgery

This is what sleep is like for my little babe.
Sweaty. Mouth open. Restless. Snoring. Tossing. Turning. Moaning.
With frequent bursts of hysterical crying.

This behavior has always alarmed us.
But it’s also all we have ever known.
Pretty much since birth, Lil W has been a “difficult” sleeper.
Never having slept through the night in his 2.5 years of life.

I’ve read every book.
Taken every piece of advice.
Attempted every method with diligent obedience to all the “rules” of sleep training.
No results. Nada.

For a period of about 8 months, we discovered Lil W had sleep apnea when we heard his breathing suddenly stop for nearly 10 seconds at a time, multiple times throughout the night. It scared us to death–and resulted in the lil guy snuggling in bed with us every night so we could monitor his breathing.

Eventually, (by his 2nd birthday), the sleep apnea seemed to subside, but the erratic night time behavior continued.
Per our doctors suggestion, we attempted a sleep study.  But a baby who isn’t even comfortable sleeping in his own home, is hardly going to cooperate with electrodes stuck all over him in some clinic.

Frustrated, tired and overwhelmed–Ben and I agreed to take a break from all the doctors visits and  attempt to make the best of our situation.  Sadly, we accepted that awaking nearly a dozen times a night to tend to our restless toddler was a fact of life in our home.

But then, about 2 months ago, I began to panic.
With another baby about to join our family, we certainly couldn’t survive sleepless nights tending to TWO crying kiddos.
We needed a solution.

A girlfriend of mine suggested the book, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.
I began reading it and was immediately drawn to a chapter about  sleep apnea and snoring.
It basically said, NONE of the sleep training methods will work until you fix your kiddos snoring and apnea.

Wait just a minute.
You mean to tell me I’m not a failure?
This isn’t all my fault?
I didn’t necessarily create this problem?
I’m not the reason he can’t sleep through the night?
There may be an actual medical problem here?

I was both concerned and relieved.
Sure, he may have an actual problem.
But at least with a diagnosis, we could begin to find a solution.
How refreshing!
And why hadn’t my pediatrician addressed these possibilities?

We bypassed our pediatrician and went straight to a highly recommended pediatric ENT.
After a 90 minute evaluation (in an office filled with toys, games, slides, and even a puppy) the doctor informed us that Lil W would need to have his adenoids removed–and possibly his tonsils.

Finally an answer.
I felt like a million pounds had been lifted from my shoulders.
There was now a light at the end of the tunnel–hope that we would overcome this sleepless period of our lives.

But as Ben and I drove home in silence, I had more time to think.
And become suddenly overwhelmed…and emotional.
I turned around to look at my giggling toddler watching Curious George in the back seat.
Then I turned to Ben, my eyes filled with tears.
And that’s when I saw it.
My fear reflected on his face.  Tears clearly being held back.
We were thinking the same thing–worrying about the same risks.

I grabbed his hand, gave three squeezes, and reminded him that long term, this would be best for our family.
I reminded him how important a quality night sleep is for a growing toddler.
I reminded him how much peace this could bring to our home.
How much less Lil W would get sick.
How much happier our lil guy would be.
How he needed to be strong so Lil W would know everything was okay.

He just nodded in silent agreement.

Because this was one of those moments of parenthood where you’re at a loss for words.
One of those moments, where you just need to be strong, trust you’ve made the right decision for your kiddo, and have faith.
This was one of those moments when you become completely consumed with the love you have for your baby,
where it becomes completely evident that they are the center of your universe,
and the thought of them in any sort of pain turns your stomach in knots.

Lil W is scheduled for surgery on Friday morning.
And I imagine Ben and I will have several more “silent moments” leading up till then.
Followed by all the ice cream and popsicles and coloring books and toy trucks and Pixar movies our Lil W desires.

 

Ashley Stock
I'm Ashley. Sometimes I craft, occasionally I cook, everyday I write, and I'm always Momma. This is my blog. I keep it real while still seeing the rainbows and butterflies in all of life's lessons.
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock

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Comments

  1. I’m so glad you found an answer! I’ll keep your family in my prayers this week…I can’t imagine how many emotions you must be feeling!
    -Jade

  2. Larissa says:

    My nephew had his adenoids out around W’s age last year and it was life changing! No more snoring or restless sleep problems! You will be so glad when it is over and we will be praying he recovers fast as it does have a pretty quick recovery (;

  3. Good luck Ashley! Stay strong! Our little boy used to tilt his head at us and we thought it was just a smirk and his personality. We found out at 13 months he had an eye problem and was tilting to try and correct it, but doctors said he would be limited if we didn’t get it fixed as far as sports and normal activities go. We decided to go for the surgery once at 18 months, and once again last year. At 18 months it was on 1 eye, last year on both. Hardest thing we’ve ever done, taking our baby to the hospital and letting the nurse take him back to put him under. Helping him come out of the surgery and taking care of him while the meds were wearing off and hurting his eyes was just as hard. We know that it’s for the best for him, but it’s still hard and emotionally taxing. We will keep your sweet family in our prayers!

  4. Hey Ashley! I love your blog and am so glad that Lil W is getting some help! That’s a huge relief! The answers to difficult questions are always scary, but at leat you know you can move forward from here! I’m praying for you’re little guy and I’m going to be praying for you and your husband’s peace during this time. We’ve been there, and know that God won’t leave your side.

  5. It is the hardest thing in the world to allow your child to have an operation. You lose the control of their safety for a moment. Remember that it is for the best of your beautiful little boy and that life might calm down after. Our little man had to have two operations before he turned 2 and it was awful taking him to the hospital but he doesn’t remember any of the trauma and is much better off.
    Good luck and I will certainly be thinking of you. I hope it all goes well.

  6. My youngest needed tubes in his ears at 6 months. It was scarey to think about your baby going into surgery and not being able to tell them what was happening. The pediatric doctors and nurses were amazing. I’m sure your doctors and nurses will be great too. When it’s all said and done, your little family will rest so much better and night.

    • Sayonada says:

      My little man had his tonsil and adenoids removed at the say age as yours in July. I’m not gonna lie, the week after was a tough one and along recovery. But his is SO SO SO much better now. He sleeps better, longer, more restfully and his asthma is much less of an issue. Hang in there and know that for about a week, it’ll be full on survival mode (unlimited movies in our house too!) but it was well worth it!

  7. Aww friend. Praying for your little man and you both as lil W gets ready for his surgery. I remember when my brother was about 3 he had to have his tonsils out as well. Having had to go through the fear of putting your child “under” anesthesia for surgery, I totally understand. As parents, we always want to worry and assume the worst. But it’s going to be so wonderful when he’s finally able to get a fitful night sleep. And for you and Ben to get some rest before baby#2 arrives. Heart you friend!!

  8. Poor little guy 🙁 I’m praying for you guys.

  9. My nephew had this same double procedure done and it was flawless & relatively easy on him. Our worrying was much worse than the actual situation, thank goodness! Praying Lil W’s goes just as well and that Mommy & Daddy make it through!

  10. Cindy Arthur says:

    I just wanted to give you some encouragement and let you know you are doing the right thing! My daughter (now 4) had the same issues. We also met with an ENT and went with the surgery. My daughter doesn’t snore anymore and it is so much more peaceful at night. She has a twin brother, who used to always say “Emerson is snoring AGAIN!!” But really, as scary as it is for you (as it was for me), you will be so happy you made this decision. God bless you and your sweet family!

  11. I can understand what a relief that must have been to know that there could be a solution to the sleepless night after having to deal with that for so long. When you said how it helped you feel like you weren’t a failure and that it was a cause of something beyond your control I immediately got tears in my eyes. I know those feeling too well and can only imagine how must have felt to have that relief. But I can also only imagine the fear and nervousness you and Ben must be going through leading up to this surgery. I hope everything goes well and KNOW it will! My nephew had surgery for the same thing when he was little and my sister constantly says how easier their life got when they knew he was happier and healthier. It is a scary leap of faith but in the end it will be a huge blessing for your sweet family. My thoughts and prayers are with you both!! (And I’m sorry this comment is all over the place 🙂 )

  12. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you have done anything wrong. And thank goodness you have found out what was going on.
    Having had a child that had 3 major surgeries, it is very scary to hand them over to the medical staff.
    Hoping for a fast recovery and maybe some good nights sleep, before the next wee one arrives.
    Hugs,
    KatieP RN

  13. many thoughts, prayers, and happy vibes your way for Friday. this is truly a blessing for your little boy. I had this very surgery, tonsils, adenoids & tubes in my ears all at the tender age of nine months. i would frequently stop breathing at night and from what my mother tells me she didn’t sleep a wink since the moment i was born. i had this surgery over twenty years ago, it’s one that is safe and one i’m sure the surgeons have done hundreds of times. good luck with everything, you should be sleeping through the night just in time for your new little bundle of joy.

  14. Julie R. says:

    I am so glad that a solution was found for your little one:) Although it might be scary you are doing the right thing. Don’t doubt your decision. You are doing what is best for our little one. Sleep problems take terrible toll on kiddos, and it’s better to do it now, then to be forced to do it when he is older and falling behind in school and has other health problems relating to his apnea. May God give you strength to get through this and make sure that the surgery is successful:)

  15. Let me wipe away my tears so that I can type… “sniff”. I am so happy that you have found a doctor that is pro-active and that you are finding ways to help little precious Wes! I had no idea that you were all going through so much stress! As scary as surgery might be, you are doing what is best for your son, and you two are so brave! I am praying that surgery goes perfectly, and that baby W will feel much better soon! Much love!

  16. You could have just told my story!! Well….minus the sleep study. My little man is scheduled to have his adenoids out and tubes put in his ears on May 1st. My guy is too young to have his tonsils out though. I am just excited that he will finally feel better!!

    We will be praying for Lil W!! And for his Momma & Daddy too!!

  17. My prayers will be with Lil W, you, and your husband on Friday!

  18. I’ll be thinking of little W and you. And now I wonder if maybe this is our problem with J too 🙁 he also wakes up like this sometimes and snores 🙁

    Sending you lots of thoughts and prayers.

  19. Oh Ashley! I have been in your shoes with our son. It’s one of the most heart wrenching experiences, but I was surprised at how well my baby did. Praying for you all !!

  20. I am so glad that you found out what was wrong with the poor sweet baby boy. 🙁 I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old boys and I would have the same fears you do about them going into surgery. I will be praying for Little W (and Mommy and Daddy, too) this week and especially Friday morning!

  21. My cousin had this when he was a baby. I’m sure you are so scared, I would be also, but like you said it is what is best for your child. I’m sure he will be just fine. I hope it helps. I have heard that night terrors sometimes happen when kids aren’t gettin enough sleep. My daughter gets them every once in a while an its so hard to deal with. I can’t imagine that every night.

  22. Good Luck Friday!! He’s so precious, he’ll do fine 🙂

  23. Michelle says:

    Your sons story sounds identical to my sons. We did have his tonsils and adnoids removed and he sleeps wonderful now. Sure there willl still be those nights when he wakes up but nothing like before. It was a rough 2 weeks after surgery for our little man and of course us. So be prepared for an uncomfortable little man. We hated seeing him hurting but in the end we knew we had done the right thing. Good luck.

  24. Going to say a few prayers for strength and healing for your family. At least there is a solutiion.

  25. That must be so hard to think about and yet so relieving at the same time! I’ll be praying the surgery goes smoothly, and maybe you’ll get some nights of good sleep before the baby is born.

  26. I know what you’re going through Ashley 🙂 we waited until my daughter was four ….. sleep apnea, snoring, night terrors EVERY night, her tonsils were so huge she couldn’t swallow some foods. We would freak out when she would just start gagging at the dinner table. We were so scared of surgery, she was so little, but our decision was the best we could of made! She sleeps like a log 🙂 All the best, Bess

  27. My prayers are with you all. Having had surgery for our baby many years ago its a scary thing. But know everything will be fine and from everything i have heard, this should help little W sleep the way he needs to. Keep us informed of how he did.
    Hugs
    Gabbi

  28. I will be thinking of you… and Lil W. Thank you for sharing your story so beautifully.

  29. Saying a prayer for Lil W!!!

  30. Your Lil’Man will be ok!! We are heading to our consultation tomorrow for my Lil’Mans 4th surgery!! He has had two sets of tubes and his adnoids removed 2x!!! His first surgery was at 10 mths and the best decision ever. My baby couldn’t even walk because his ears where so messed up and the day he came home from his procedure he was running!! He is now 4 and his tubes have been in too long… ugh!! Why do we have to mess with him but it will be the best thing for him. I will say prayers for you!

  31. Hey Ashley! I know this situation must be so difficult, but let me share a great side of it. I had the same problem as a child. I couldn’t breathe and would wake up all the time. Because of all the poor sleep I developed an ulcer in Kindergarten. Then I had to see the school counselor regularly, because they thought I had issues, since I had an ulcer. It took a while before anyone realized it all resulted from my tonsils and adenoids. I had them removed and the ulcer and sleeping problems went away. I am so happy that you guys figured this out so much earlier in his life. While the surgery will not be fun, you and W will be SO glad you did it in the end. Hang in there! You are STRONG.

  32. Prayers are coming your way. You are definitely making the right decision. Pray a lot and stay strong for your little man. I am so happy that you’ve found an answer!

  33. My 6 year old just had his tonsils and adenoids out a month and a half ago. Here are a few tips that other moms gave me that really helped. Prepare yourself for him to come back from recovery SCREAMING. I mean holy terror screaming! (Everyone says that EVERY kid does it) Mine did. I had about an hour of physically holding him down on the bed to keep him from ripping out the IV. After that he was great. Foods….(if Little W likes yogurt) buy a bunch of Danimals drinkable yogurt smoothies! They are great!

    And make yourself (even if he doesn’t seem like he needs it) stick to the specified time schedule for pain meds. If you stay on top of it, he won’t complain at all, but miss one dose and all the sudden he’ll be in a world of hurt. And the saline rinse for the nose—is a MUST! He’ll hate it, but it helps with the swelling and healing. And if he does the tonsils be prepared for the most FOUL BAD BREATH you’ve ever smelled for about 2 weeks!

    Will be praying that everything goes smoothly. Just stick to what your Dr. says and he’ll be just fine. And it WILL help with the sleeping! It’s A-MAZING!

  34. Elisabeth says:

    Such a difficult decision to make, no matter how old your child is. I’m glad you got some answers and will be praying the surgery is quick and as easy as possible for the doctors and nurses, Little W, and you!

  35. farmhousemama says:

    Good luck! You won’t regret it. My oldest son had his out right after his 2nd birthday. He never slept more than 45 minutes at a time his entire life. I was pregnant with #2 and delirious! Best.thing.we ever.did! The dr wanted him to spend the night in the hospital due to his age but a few hours after surgery he was sneaking behind the nurses station eating their potato chips so they sent us home. 🙂 Good luck again. It is a long week after surgery but well worth it.

  36. Bobbie Mackey says:

    my family is praying for yours, and we know just where you are at. our son, dakota had already survived heart surgery at 1 year. at 2 years, we discovered he needed tonsils and adnoids out, and tubes put in. for some reason that devastated me more than the heart surgery. (thinking i was in shock?) it is hard, but you all will do great! sending warm wishes to your family!

  37. Surgery is so scary but knowing that he is going to heal and he is going to be better off long term must be such a relief for you two.

  38. Best of luck to you all. My daughter had both removed, and for us it was life changing in a good way. I totally understand how scary this can be though !

  39. My son had a hydrocele repair at 18 months and I felt the same way until I sat in the waiting room and realized my son was having minor surgery while others parents were waiting on brain surgeries, heart surgeries, cancer resections etc…horrible things. I was then tearful for not trusting God and being selfish. Best wishes, no one anything can say will make this comfortable or OK!

  40. I will certainly be praying for you and your family. I don’t know if this will help but I have been through the exact same situation. When my son was born with extra skin in his throat. When he was sleeping as an infant he would stop breathing for 11 seconds. The doctors kept telling us that they didn’t get concerned until 15 seconds. It was infuriating. With the help of a great ENT doc also with lots of test they did the surgery and has been sleeping through the night since. I can’t imagine going 2.5 years without a full nights sleep. I know that it is scary when they take your child away from you and you see all this contraptions on him. Recovery could be a little rough because of his age and because his throat might be raw but once you hear that first night of easy breathing and you no longer have to hear the nightmare-ish sounds you used to hear at night, there is no better feeling in the world. That squeaky breathing sound still haunts me but my little man has no idea. Good Luck!

  41. Jessica Barber says:

    My daughter turned 2 in December. In February, she had her second set of tubes put in and her tonsils and adnoids removed. It took several weeks to notice a difference and to get back into our routine but 1.5 months later, she sleeps all night (no more snoring!) and even eats better!! Two things the doctors didn’t tell me that we learned “the hard way”: (1) the second week is harder than the first. The first week they are on pain meds and just so worn out from it all. The second week they are more aware that their “throat hurts” and become picky eating due to it hurting. and (2) it will take several weeks for the sleeping to get better. K acted very scared every time we put her to bed for about 3 weeks after the surgery. And while she normally slept through the night, now she was up several times at night. We kept a sippy cup (with no stopper so it isn’t too hard to suck on) next to her bed so she can get a drink and wet her throat. We also had lights on and the door open to her room and our room so she was assured that she was safe and we were there for her.
    Also, our doc kept K in the Pediatric unit for post op recovery for longer than the standard recovery time. That was soooo helpful!
    This surgery will be much harder on you and Ben than it will on W. Kids are so resilient, he will (hopefully) hardly be disrupted by any of this. I too am pregnant with baby #2 and the hormones can reek havoc on us mommys when our babies are sick. My family will be praying for you and your family that everyone will make it through this surgery and recovery with flying colors!

  42. Good luck, Little W! I’m sure everything will be okay! I love that Sleep Habits book. We’ve been using it since our first little guy five years ago. Really works wonders : ) You are in our prayers.

  43. Shannon says:

    My son had a t&a at 4 due to snoring and sleep apnea. His tonsils were so big they were actually touching. We had a “goodbye tonsils” party the night before–everyone brought him gifts of icepops and we got a cake. There’s also a book I found at the library about getting tonsils out. All in all it was easy–about a week of recovery. Please email me if you want to talk about it
    More or have any questions!
    Dubs will be fine!

  44. My son had to get his tonsils and adnoids out when he was three. It was the best thing that we ever did. All of a sudden, no more fevers, no more tonsilitis, no more yucky coughs. Good Luck!

    Words of Wisdom: Please stick with the soft food for as long as you can after you get the tonsils out (basically until the dr gives you the clear). We switched back to solids to quickly and had a scab come off the tonsils. So it was back to the ER to get the area re-cauterized.

  45. Awww 🙁 poor little guy. Will keep you guys in my prayers!!

  46. My little 4 year old girl had this surgery! It was life changing for her. Good luck to you and your son!

    Amy

  47. Ashley, I am so sorry that you and your little fam are going through this right now. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be. You and Ben are such strong parents- you will get through this. And little baby W will be able to sleep so much better as a result. You are doing the right thing- if you ever need to vent- I’m here! I know we don’t know eachother that well but I am always here if you need to chat 🙂 I think you’re such an amazing momma!

    -kendall
    songbirdsandbuttons.blogspot.com

  48. Caryn A. says:

    Best of luck to your family. My niece had this surgery performed about two years ago and it made everything so much better – her recovery was very fast too. I work at a children’s hospital and it’s amazing how resilient little kids are.

  49. Aw, that has got to be scary! But on the other hand, a huge relief. I can’t imagine still being up many times every night after that long, that’s forever. Hopefully you’ll get some full nights of sleep before the new babe arrives! And I’m sure Lil W will heal up in no time, kids have an amazing ability to bounce back from just about everything. 🙂

  50. Sending you and Lil W and well all your family a lot of love and prayers!

  51. I know a few children (all under 5) who had this same procedure done. I’ll be praying for you and your family as you wait for the surgery and as Lil W is in surgery. Stay strong! You’ll be happy you did it later 🙂

  52. So glad that you are going to do the surgery. My daughter didn’t want her son to have tubes (not as serious) and neither did her peds doctor. He is almost 2 and 1/2 now and just had #15 ear infection. He failed the hearing test. He is actually having the tbes put in right now. We live in different states or I would be there. Last week he had a terrible fall at the sitters. He was turned away from two hospitals that said they couldn’t repair his face/lip. He ended up at CHildrens in Denver and having an hour and 30 minute surgery by a plastic surgeon…..so now he has had two surgeries in 6 days.
    All of my children(4) had T&A’s. They are alot more careful now. He will be fine but you will still worry. I’m hoping that he sleeps better so you can. Sleep apnea is scarey. ((((HUGS))))) for you.

  53. Bless your hearts! What a tough decision, but glad you found the problem. Years of bad sleep will really take a toll on your body and make everything worse, easier to get sick, harder to heal, etc. Best of luck. Doctor’s office seems to be passionate about helping kids. 🙂

  54. Marianne says:

    Ashley, I know what you are going through. I know the worry, the heart ache and the faith that this will work. My son had the same surgery 6 months ago, and he was the same age, and I am so very glad we did it. I used to lay in bed at night, and I could hear him breath across the room in his playpen. I thought I was just the most intune mom on the planet. Then the Dr told us after surgery that his tonsils were closing off all but a space smaller than a straw in his throat and his adnoids were the size of adult adnoids. And I felt like the most horrible mom on the planet. But I can tell you that our lives have flipped flopped since surgery. First, he talks, and talks and talks. Before he talked, but he sounded like he was in a bubble. I had to tell him at night after surgery to stop talking so he could sleep. And it was clear. We got so many comments about his speech afterwards from family. The second is he is growing. As in, he was in 2T at surgery and 4T a month later. He was eating real food, not toddler formula or Instant Breakfast all the time. And this all started the second the surgery was over. No kidding. They came and got us, and I held him as he woke up (we also got to be in the operating room holding his hands as he fell asleep, surgery was less than 30 mins). We couldn’t believe how quiet he was sleeping. Even with inflammation in his nose and throat, it was hard to see if he was breathing, like a new baby. And he slept good. He had a hard time keeping his oxygen up when he slept and had to have that on for naps in the hospital. But they told us that kids with sleep apnea usually have a hard time with that. So just be prepared. I hope your experience goes as well as ours did. Prayers sent your way!

  55. My daughter had surgery at 7 months old and it is hard. But when she was back there and I was waiting, they would have the nurse call me and tell me that she was doing great. And you know, children heal so quickly. We only spent one night there. I hope it goes well for you guys. I’ll pray for lil W and all of you.

  56. i will be praying for your sweet little guy! we love our children so much, we so want to protect them, its so hard to rely on God when it comes to our sweet littles at times. I have to remind myself often that Heavenly Father loves them a million more times than I do, if I can even imagine that:) I pray He gives you peace and the ability to rest in Him as your little man’s surgery approaches.

  57. Oh, poor liitle guy! I will be thinking of you this week and looking forward to reading about his speedy recovery and better days ahead for all of you. Hang in there, Momma!

  58. Wendy Orme says:

    I’m so glad you finally have an answer and sincerely hope it solves the problem! Good luck on Friday!

  59. Mandy Kirk says:

    Two of my boys have had their tonsils and adnoids out, it may be scary. But it will AMAZE you the difference it will make in your lives!! Good luck, just know you are doing the best thing you can for your family–and sanity 🙂

  60. Fernanda says:

    I know it is so difficult to think about the risks…but believe me this is pretty routine surgery and he will be just fine! It looks like you took him to an amazing doctor and he will feel soooo much better afterwards! I am glad that you finally figured it out!! I will keep you in my prayers for this fridays…and get ready for a full night of sleep! =)

  61. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this (& the sleepless nights), but I am so HAPPY that you may finally have a solution! I can only imagine the stress you will feel on Friday, but just know that tonsil/adenoid removal is VERY common and the younger kiddos are, the easier it is. My hubby had his removed when he was around 5 and he says that all he remembers is eating lots of icecream, getting new toys, and watching TV. All positive memories! I didn’t get mine removed until I was 17 and it was MUCH worse of a recovery. You are doing Lil W a HUGE favor by taking care of this now. Prayers heading your way! HUGS!

  62. You are an amazing Mommy. I will be thinking of your family this week. Life throws so many crazy things at us, its your job as Mom, to sort through it, stay sane, and move forward. You got this girl! Proud of you. xoxo

  63. Glad that there finally is a solution, but goodness scary!
    Prayers for you and your family!

  64. bitter sweet…I am SO glad there are finally answers BUT it’s scary to have your little one have surgery. I remember when Eliot had to be put to sleep for his teeth to be pulled and that was scary enough I can’t imagine how you are feeling. Just be so thankful for your faith, friends, and family and KNOW everything will be PERFECT and it’s the best thing in the long run! give Wes a big kiss for me! xoxo

  65. I know just how you are feeling, we went through the same thing. Our oldest son, Ben :), had his tonsils and adenoids removed when he was 7 and it was life changing. He was never a good sleeper and I remember being so frusterated when none of the sleep methods worked. After he had them removed his snoring stopped, he was getting real solid sleep and his constant ear infections disappeared. Looking back, it really is a gift to them. Take a deep breath on Friday!!

  66. I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must be, but rest assured that he is in good hands if you went to a specialist. And hopefully once he recovers that will be the end of his struggles with sleeping! That will have so many wonderful knock-on effects. Be strong!

  67. So happy to hear that you guys found answers. Praying for his surgery on Friday!!! Please keep us posted 🙂 HUGS! xo

  68. Michelle says:

    I had the same surgery done when I was Little W’s age, 26 years ago, for the same reasons.

    I still snore (bleh), but it cured the sleep apnea.

    Good luck to you, and W!

  69. Half the battle is having a solution!
    I’m glad you find an answer.
    Best wishes for a fast recovery.

  70. Shirley says:

    I am so sorry that you are going through this stage in parenting. And you are right to have this done especially for both your son and the new little one. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  71. My son had his tonsils and adnoids out when he was three years old. He is now a happy healthy 22 year old college student. He was constantly ill with ear infections . The surgery was life changing for us both and his health improved drastically. I remember that his nose bled a little after the surgery and that he didn’t spring back quite as quickly as I would have liked, but non the less he did heal and his health issues seemed to vanish. My neice who is 5 had her adnoids removed but it did not resolve her snoring issues, the doc wanted to take the conservative approch. Her tonsils are huge snoring is terrible and now they are recommending they be removed. My sister has a different health insurance company now and the surgery will be very costly for her. I am glad my son had both his tonsils and adnoids removed at the same time. Praying for you are yous!

  72. Chelsea says:

    I know all to well what you’re about to go through. My son was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect at 2 months and had open heart surgery when he was 5 months old. Just remember that they are FAR more resilient than we EVER can even imagine. My prayers are with you, your family and the doctors.

  73. i know it must be so tough to see your little one go through a surgery… but you are so right in the fact that it will be what is best for your little guy and your family. i hope that he will have the best sleep of his life, and that you will as well! you are such a good momma, ashley!!

  74. prayers for your little one all around, and for you and your Hubby! 🙂

  75. Good luck! He’ll do great! So glad you figured out what was wrong!

  76. Prayers for the surgery–and for some peaceful sleeping, finally! Go get ’em 😉

  77. Poor guy! I hope it works!

  78. You are strong! And so is your kiddo! He has to be…’cause he was made by you guys! Hang in there and I pray that you’ll be able to find the peace you need about this!

  79. My eyes are filled with tears. I am so sorry he has to go through this, but so grateful you found a solution. He is safe in God’s hands. Praying for a quick and restful recovery for your Lil W.

    Love,

    Misty

  80. I pray that the Lord will bless you all.

    I had this surgery when I was four and now I’m a healthy grown woman.

    You´ll see an enormous improvement on his life quality 🙂

  81. ok. scary. my dad just had to have this surgery. they say its a lot harder for grownups. i was the one who had to take care of him so i did a ton of research to know what i was in for. i prepared for the worse. i guess it is different for everyone but its not as bad as you think. i was very well prepared. he was not in a ton of pain. we made sure to do his meds on time to keep the pain from happening. he did not like cold. he wanted room temp water. and on the third day he was eating soft foods. we blended lots of food! and he was good. just be prepared. hurts to swallow on second day and good on third! and ice the neck! if you have any questions, we have been through this. please dont hesitate to ask!
    rwvanvoorhis at gmail dot com

  82. Molly Odum says:

    Our daughter, now 11, was the same way. She had never slept thur the night her first 3 years, so ENT agreed she needed T &A. After that, we were like this is what a full night of sleep feels like. The 5 days post op is the worst for pain FYI

  83. My Dad didn’t find out that he had this exact problem until he was a well grown adult. He now has to sleep with a machine on his face to be able to actually fall into a deep sleep. He said the first night on with it, was the most amazing sleep in his entire life! The doctor told him that he had actually never experienced falling into a deep sleep before. Can you imagine, after over 30+ years? You are doing your son a HUGE favor. Getting proper sleep is VITAL for us to function at our best. He is less tired, has more energy, and doesn’t get as sick as much as he used too! It is just overall better for the condition of the body as well. Oh and my mom has finally had to stop making him sleep on the couch 😉 So think about Lil W’s future family you are helping too! Because the snoring and restlessness DOESN’T stop! I used to hate going to daddy daughter camp outs with him because NO ONE could fall asleep with him around. They actually made us move our tent away from the camp ground once because it was so bad. So addressing this now will be HUGE for HIM as well as you guys as a family!

  84. I will be praying for y’all!!

  85. I will pray for peace about the surgery for all of you. That book is so very helpful-I truly read it a hundred times these last few years. So glad if prompted you the way that it did and now there is a solution 🙂

  86. Three of my four kids have had their tonsils and adnoids removed. My son also had tubes put in and had a dermoid cyst removed from about his eye at 8mos.

    You will be amazed at how quickly little ones recover. They are extremely resiliant. He will feel so, so much better and be sick a lot less often. It is always frightening when your child has to go through any medical procedure but take comfort in the fact that his recovery will be much easier since he is so young. And finally getting a good night sleep will allow all of you to be healthier and happier!

  87. Michele says:

    My baby is one and getting his adenoids out as well. He had surgery at 5 months as well. All went well then and I think as long as you trust your dr and faith in the Lord it will all work out!!! Good luck and pray for your frazzled nerves – it helps!! Also, when my three year old had his tonsils out we discovered that sleeping elevated helped so much. That way he didn’t have to swallow all night long.

  88. i don’t have a child of my own, but i have many nieces and nephews (one of which is actually having surgery today) and when these kids have their tonsils and adenoids out when they’re young, it’s waaay easier then when they’re older. i had mine out when i was 20 and it was AWFUL because i was so old. it’s still scary to think of your baby being in surgery, but i’d bet money he’ll breeze right through this and be so much happier! good luck! prayers your way 🙂

  89. So glad you found and answer!! I don’t know how the surgery is now, but my younger sister had her tonsils, and adenoids removed, and tubes put in her ears 23 years ago. She used to sleep with her head nearly touching her back because it was the only way she could breath. She came home the same day, and loved all the popcicles. She is now a mom of 3! My mom said the difference in her after the surgery was amazing and she didn’t know why they hadn’t done it sooner. Hope the results are as good for you all!

  90. When I was abouy 6 years old I had my adnoids and tosils removed. I remember before the surgery always getting sick with horrible strep throat, ear infections, etc. that were quite painful. My mother told me I also had a lot of trouble breathing at night. Since I was 6 I was better able to understand about the surgery and what was to be expected afterwards, but it still wasn’t easy the first couple of days after : ) However, in the long run I’m very happy my mother agreed to the surgery as I was a much healthier, and therefore, happier child afterwards. I didn’t get strep again until my older daughter got sick the first ime and have never had an ear infection since.
    As a mother of two little girls, I understand your fear, but as you wrote your child (and you too) deserve a good nights sleep and better health.
    Good luck to W and warmest get well wishes!!!!

  91. My thoughts will be with you and little W. I hope all goes smoothly and he can finally get a good night’s sleep.

  92. We had the same experience with our Jedi, he was 6 when we finally were given the advice to remove both. OH MY GOSH what a difference…it didn’t solve it all but it allowed him to sleep. Our procedure took all of 25 min. In that 25 min of course I was a wreck I was so nervous. His went off without a hitch until they gave him Loratab….which we found out he was allergic to, so he kept throwing up, until they finally realized it was the meds then we were released to go home 🙂 OOPS.
    He bounced back quickly the 3rd day was the worse, his ears hurt so bad, they had warned us of this though so we were prepared.
    We will pray for your little guy and you because it is awful for us parents.
    Much love going your way!

  93. I know it is so scary. Our little Stella has been under general anesthesia twice, and both times went exactly as planned. These little kiddos are way stronger than we are! Good luck!

  94. Renee Rasmussen says:

    I have a similar story with my son. My little guy was born snoring…loudly. Along with some other issues his first few months were a little rough to say the least. He caught his first cold at 2 months and had bronchitis by 4 months old. When he was about 10 months old he only had a few healthy days a month and all the other days were consumed by nonstop runny noses, sore throats, coughs and sleepless nights. Our nights aren’t as sleepless as yours, but there were difficult. I asked our pediatrician about tubes and he said my son didn’t qualify. I had finally had enough and went the ENT on my own (just like you! Mom’s have good intuition!). The ENT doc said that it was almost neglect, the pediatrician should have sent us in long ago. My son had chronic fluid in his ears (which led to loss of hearing and my son not talking as much at the time) and he needed his adenoids out. A month before his first birthday he had his adenoids out and tubes put in. He had a little trouble waking up from the surgery but by 1pm he jumped off my lap and started playing. He was still groggy and wanted to be held a lot after the surgery, but we could tell instantly that he was better. His talking immediately picked up and he didn’t catch a cold for 3 months after that. When he was 18 months old we had to have his tonsils out, those too had become chronically irritated. Now at 22 months old he hasn’t big sick once and is amazingly upbeat, happy, and talkative. I’m in awe at how well he is now. It makes me sad and mad all at the same time that he had to be so sick for so long before we found out how to make him better. Good luck with W’s surgery, he’ll do amazing and you will too 😉

  95. I just stumbled onto your blog today and have read through some of posts (what a writer you are!) I will be thinking of your family and lil w!

  96. My son had a sleep study done when he was a little over 2. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea and it was amazing how they could tell exactly how many times he stopped breathing at night and for how long. The results instantly freaked me out. My son had his adenoids and tonsils removed. The surgery didn’t take very long at all….less than an hour if I remember correctly. His recovering was awesome and I was thankful for that. It was tricky to get him to drink stuff, but I remember that was a big push from others. The only thing I wish I would have done differently was demand for him to drink something that was going to make him groggy when they wheeled him away. There was nothing more sad than watching him being wheeled away whimpering with a sad puppy dog look on his face. He was 100% with it and knew something was going to happen. HOWEVER, the results were great and I can no longer hear him snoring in his room and he sleeps much more peaceful now 🙂 Praying for your family.

  97. Becks Foster says:

    You RULE for bypassing the daily doc and going straight to the ENT.
    You guys will do great and the lil guy is going to be sooooo much happier.
    My daughter is now 20 and she had the same surgery when she was almost 3 years old,
    She had a quick recovery and her entire demeanor though, sweet before was amped up and she became this glowing orb of fun energy and I had a full nights sleep (in her room on the floor watching making sure she was ok-I did this for a few nights). She LOVED the prezzies people brought by at the time and the endless sorbet. As much as I stressed freaked out and triple checked everything she has zero memory of any of it.
    Happy healthy thoughts for your precious W and your entire lil family.
    -Becks

  98. my oldest son suffered from the same thing but along with it came hearing loss. He had fluid in his ears and his sinuses were HORRIBLY infected, he went in to have his tonsils and adenoids removed as well as small holes drilled in his ear drums to remove the fluid and then had his sinuses cleaned out, and let me tell you I was a wreck!!!! but when he recovered a couple days later he was a TOTALLY different child! It was the best decision we ever made! I hope little W recovers quickly and you get some good good sleep!!!! Prayers are with you!
    -Morgan

  99. My daughter was constantly tortured with ear infections and throat problems at 2 years old. I finally went above our pediatrician and scheduled an appointment with a great ENT in Orlando. They put in ear tubes and took out her adenoids. She is 5 years old now and no longer has any issues (except for the occasional cold bug). Her surgery was also a piece of cake. It’s scary to have your child go through it, but I think you are doing the right thing! Praying for Lil W and of course you and Ben!

  100. Paying &Thinking about you all this morning.
    My nephew had the same problem & had the same surgery. Now he’s a champion sleeper. my sister struggles to wake him in the morning. We tease her and say cut him some slack he just catching up.

  101. I hope the surgery helps!

  102. Wow sounds pretty scary! I will make sure to pray for your little guy and for you and your husband.

  103. Reading this post was eerie. The story is identical to what we are currently going through with our three year old. His pediatrician wouldn’t even send him to a sleep study, but at his last checkup, suggested that we go to a ENT. We are scheduled to go next month & are expecting to be told that his tonsils and andenoids need to be removed. I’ll be keeping you all in my thoughts & prayers! I look forward to hearing how surgery & recovery goes!!

  104. Morland says:

    My faugther had to have surgery a week before her first birthday. I know exactly what you mean the relief then the set in of fear. You’ll be a scarred, teary mess the whole time leading up to it, trying to act strong. And when the take him away be prepared for the great flood,it’ll come and pass and then you’ll see him sleeping on that bed out of surgery resting like the best slice of gods work you’ve every seen, and everything will be okay. He will better, you’re quality of life will be better, and everything will be worth it. Hang in there.myou made the right choice.

  105. Morland says:

    My daughter! Lol

  106. So glad you found an answer to his sleep problems! When my sister and I were both 2 years old we had the same surgery. Our tonsils would swell when we were sleeping and block our airways. Super scary! Hopefully his surgery went great and it gives your family some relief.

  107. melanie says:

    a friend passed this along to me today and as i read it, my eyes filled up with tears. i could have written this word for word. for 2 years we’ve dealt with the snoring, moaning, screaming hysterically throughout the night and waking up in a cold sweat just knowing that your baby had gone too long between breaths without even having to watch him while you reach over and rub his chest to get him to take a breath, all while wondering what could have happened if you didn’t happen to wake up. everyone had advice. everyone had opinions. we should put him in a crib in his own room. we should let him cry it out to sleep then every time he wakes up. we should ignore it. i always knew something was wrong but withe everyone having such huge opinions, i made the mistake of attempting to sleep train a child that was not acting out but having real medical issues causing him to wake frequently and sleep miserably. a couple weeks back, we took our son to a sleep study after almost two years of miserable sleep. i knew the results would be non existent because when you take a toddler who already has sleep issues and attach him to a million electrodes, sleep is impossible. he spent 95% of the night sleeping with his head elevated on me and he woke up a minimum of 25 times that night. i knew in my heart they would call and tell me he was fine and in a weird way, it crushed me. i wanted to scream that hey lays flat at home. he stops breathing all night. imagine my surprise when we got a call from the dr saying that he did in fact have apnea and that even though it only showed up as borderline there, they saw that he didn’t lay flat and assumed it was much more significant than the test revealed. i hung up the phone and cried. i cried because i feared having to put him under the knife but mostly i cried because i felt like a giant weight had been lifted. i felt like i could look everyone in the eye who told me it was my fault and scream ‘it was NOT my fault!’ our little H doesn’t go into surgery until next month and i’m fearing the surgery and the recovery (he has to stay in the hospital for at least one to two nights since he’s the size of an 18 month old) but i’m also excited for the times to come. i can only imagine the night i finally get to kiss him goodnight with out the struggles of getting him down from over exhaustion. i can imagine knowing he’s breathing like he should be finally and realizing that it’s finally okay for me to sleep. i can also imagine that first morning he wakes up refreshed and kisses me in the morning instead of waking up groggy and cranky from being up all night. i know this will be a good thing for us and i know this will be a great thing for you as well. <3 m

  108. ** I’m in tears ** This really hits home for me. My little guy is 8 months old and been a horrible sleeper since day 1. None of my friends with babies have my experience and their babies sleep through the night while mine still wakes up every hour. I’ll be lucky if I get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Read every method out there and tried most of them and nothings has worked. I feel defeated and too exhausted to be myself but I’m accepting that it’s our reality right now. Just this past weekend, I broke down and told my hubby how unsure I feel about having another baby. Not that I’m not desiring one but not sure how to take care of another child with my little guy now. But he reminded me this is a phase and it will soon shall pass or so we hope …
    I pray everything goes well on Friday and looking forward to hearing about your goodnight sleep in the future 🙂

  109. Danyiel J says:

    How did the little man handle surgery day?

  110. Tiffany Nelson says:

    We just went through the same thing with our son several months ago. We were a little hesitant but what a difference it has made on all of quality of life. He could get very violent breaking things, yelling, screaming and hitting. Our little guy now sleeps soundly all night and has very rare episodes of breaking things. He is currently sleeping soundly in his little bed, no snoring, no tossing and tunring. I won’t lie and say I don’t check on him several times a night. : ) It will make a difference in your lives. My good thoughts are headed in direction.

  111. I love love that book! Though our situation was completely different, and many of the sleep training solutions did help us, I’m so glad to hear that it helped you find the right direction to take with your little guy! It’s such a relief to FINALLY find some help when you feel like you’ve exhausted all the possibilities and still feel helpless…on another note, my best friend’s barely three-year-old just had her adenoids and tonsils removed today, actually, having similar apnea and snoring issues. They are very hopeful that the surgery will vastly improve her demeanor, too…I guess it’s very common for kids with this problem to be extremely difficult before, and much more agreeable and laid-back afterwards…just think how much more reasonable we are on a good night’s sleep…it’s got to be the same for our little ones, too! Best wishes for you guys, hope everything goes great!

  112. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, especially Lil W. xo

  113. Hang in there–it will be for the best. My little guy was just scheduled today to have his removed in 2 weeks (as soon as his tonsillitis and ear infection clear up!) My best advice is to make the best of the situation and appreciate the closeness that you will feel in your marriage and family as you go through this together.

  114. I hope he does great. I’m sure he will feel so much better.

  115. How did the surgery go mama?? Thinking about your family!

  116. I hope he did great during his surgery! My daughter, Carlee, had to same procedure done when she was almost 3. It scared me to death to think about her being put to sleep, but it ended up being great!! We took videos of her after they gave her the “sleepy” medicine…it was HILARIOUS!! When she woke up, she wanted that IV out of her hand though. She has never been plagued by awful ear infections since her surgery, thank goodness!!!

  117. Sounds EXACTLY like my daughter, Abby…while it was scary to think of her having this surgery, all the hours I spent with her sleeping on my chest and shaking her lightly to get her to breathe again were MUCH scarier. She came through the surgery with flying colors and the snoring and apnea stopped. She now sleeps peacefully through the night and the constant runny nose is gone, too. I am hoping for the same results for your little guy! And some much needed sleep for all three of you!

  118. Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Baby was my go-to book for sleeping! it’s genius! I’m glad you guys figured it out and I’ll be praying that it solves many of those troubles. My 4 month old had to be under anesthesia for a major skull surgery and my husband and I had many of those same fears. He will get through and so will you but it doesn’t make the waiting any easier. Hugs! Let us know how he’s doing now that the surgery is over. Much rest for you, momma!

    Andi

  119. I hope he’s well now. Take care 😉

  120. Our little girl was the same, and she had sleep apnea, along with ear infections and tonsillitis 🙁 poor little thing was ALWAYS sick and tired and miserable. After she healed up from getting her adenoids and tonsils out (and tubes in) she was A DIFFERENT child- happy,loud, fantastic sleeper!!!! That surgery changed her life. It was a HUGE blessing. The two weeks after surgery are AWEFUL- I’m sorry you have to go through them. Just make sure you DO NOT let up on their pain medicine because if you do they stop drinking. It was terrifying to me. But once you make it through those two weeks- life is GREAT!!! Good luck! Feel free to email me if you have questions about the time after surgery and some tips on how to get your son to take the pain killers/ (lots of chocolate icecream !)

  121. I hope Lil W’s surgery went well. Please keep us posted! Wishing you, Ben and Lil W a great recovery and well rested nights!

  122. Thank you!
    I am going through the same thing right now we did a Oxygen study over night a week ago and my little guy’s HB and Oxygen Saturation level dropped to very dangerous levels. After and visit to the ENT today we are scheduled to have tonsils taken out next Friday morning. I almost cry thinking about how tired I have been non-stop since the day he was born. We too tried everything we could think of for him, did all the things the experts said to do with a difficult sleeper and it never worked for us.

    *hugs* From someone who is going through something extremely similar.

  123. Samantha Fischer says:

    My boys had to have their tonsils and adenoids out also. They were 3 and 4 at the time. It was very hard. They are 10 months apart so they had their surgeries at the same time. Two little ones … suffering. I feel for you!

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  1. […] You can read about why Lil W needed surgery here. […]

  2. […] Sawyer to an ENT for further examination. Because one of the common symptoms of Laryngomalacia is sleep apnea. And you’re not really sure you’re prepared to tackle that […]

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