Overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt as your secrets began pouring into my inbox.
I was touched.
Moved.
Emotional.
Sympathetic.
Inspired.
But most of all, I was in AWE.
In awe at the courage each of you showed, to come forward, to open up, to remind the rest of us that WE ARE NOT ALONE!
And so begins our SECRET SERIES.
SECRETS REVEALED:
{please show your support in the comments section}
Jolene’s Secret:
I feel incredible guilt over my dad’s death in July.
He had knee surgery the day before and I picked him up from the hospital and took him home.
I thought of visiting the next day,
but then I decided it was too much of a PITA (they lived 35 minutes from me)
and I decided to skip a day.
He died of a heart attack the day I decided not to visit.
My mom was totally useless and stood there calling me instead of calling 911.
He was gone by the time the paramedics arrived.
I know CPR and think I may have been able to save my dad’s life.
I will never get over this.
I carry this guilt daily,
and think it is my fault that he is gone.
– Jolene
Cailey’s Secret:
In high school, I was a cutter.
I would cut myself.
Because I am so ashamed to let people see my scarred arms,
I haven’t been able to wear short sleeves in six years.
Not even during the summer.
I wonder on a regular basis how this will affect my future.
What will the people I care about think when they find out?
Will anyone ever be able to fall in love with me?
How would they ever introduce me to their family without feeling ashamed?
Will I be able to walk down the aisle on my wedding day and feel beautiful…?
What will my future children think of their Momma?
Will I always be ashamed?
-Cailey
I will be posting several secrets daily throughout this entire week. So be sure to check back often, you’re not going to want to miss these.
You can grab your very own Secret Series Button on the right sidebar—->
Simply copy the code, then got to “add a gadget” in your blogger dashboard, then add “html”, then paste the code, then click “save” {thats it}!
On Friday, we will conclude this portion of the Secret Series with a link up party–where I will encourage YOU to link up a post with your secret {no matter how big or small–serious or silly}.
Send it to [email protected]
And please let me know your “alias” or if I can use your real name.
6 Comments
Lexie
August 12, 2011 at 3:43 pmI know this is an old post but when I saw it featured on the front page and read it, I couldn’t leave it at that.
My heart goes out to these women with immense pride and gratitude. They are so brave for coming clean with their secret! So courageous!
You’re set a wonderful example on your blog, Ashley. You’re created a circle of women, a circle of mommas :), that enjoy a sort of trust that is rarely found in the world.
So Thank you. Thank you for that.
And Cailey – your secret is most familiar to me because I have been through it.
There. That’s my secret. I was a cutter in high school.
But then, I met a boy. And I fell in love.
And he fell in love with me.
And the first promise I made to him was that I would never do it again. And I haven’t.
His love has been sacred and magical for me and he saves my life every day.
I no longer see the world in gray hues – everything is bright and colorful now.
I used to worry that no one would be able to fall in love with me because of the long lines on my arms and legs.
I used to wear long sleeves in the summer even if it was 90+ degrees.
I might still have trouble wearing a bathing suit at the beach and I still get scared that all the mommas are leading their children far far away because they don’t want them to see what I did to myself, but I am learning. It gets easier to breathe every day.
Because Caylie? There’s hope. Scars fade and new memories appear in place of the old ones.
Your past? You’ll learn and grow from it. Eventually it’ll become a fiber of your being like anything that shapes us in our youth. But it will stop defining you.
I am getting married next year to the wonderful, loving, caring boy who’s become an even more wonderful, loving, caring man who kisses my scars before we fall asleep and holds me real close.
I will wear a beautiful short sleeve wedding dress and I will walk down the aisle with pride and hope.
I still worry about how to approach the subject with my little ones in the future but you know what? Everyone has a history. Everyone has a past. People you ride the bus with and attend church with have a history. And this particular history is my own. It might not be perfect, and it might not be lovely, but it is MINE. And when I’m a momma, and my children are old enough to understand, I will tell them about my struggles. And I will make SURE that if they ever feel that way about themselves and if they ever want to do that to themselves, that I am there to help and coach and guide them through it. Because I survived.
Thank you Ashley, for introducing me to such incredible people. I’m not a new reader but I am a new commenter. I am currently working on somewhat establishing myself in blogging world (newbie blogger, looooong time reader) and the first step it introducing myself to all your lovely inspirational ladies. So thank you. Thank you with all my heart.
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