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Suddenly The Words

1-Sawyer 5 weeks

There have been so many times that I have worked so hard to find the words to describe the emotion that completely overcame me when I held my boys for the very first time–the words for when I became a mother. Every time I try to write it down the words seem to have escaped me.  I go back and read it to myself and think  “no, there’s more…I’m not quite capturing the full magnitude of love”…

Well, the other day I found the words. They weren’t mine, but they still perfectly captured what my heart has been trying to convey.

It was while I was sitting in the film, Les Miserables.
It was a song I didn’t recognize from the play.
As I listened to the lyrics, I felt as if I was listening to my soul sing the words to perfectly describe the overwhelming love I have discovered upon becoming a mother.  And it was everything I could do to not burst into sobs in the middle of the movie theatre.

I wish I was able to share the song in it’s entirety, but such a clip doesn’t exist yet.
So for now, hopefully the lyrics and this brief clip will help give you a taste of the sentiment I’m trying to relay.

Being a Momma is an emotional business, let me tell ya.
And this film seemed to have tugged at every heart string in my body…
I’m still recovering!

Suddenly Lyrics from Les Miserables: 

Suddenly I see
Suddenly it starts
Can two anxious hearts
Beat as one?
Yesterday I was alone
Today you walk beside me
Something still unclear
Something not yet here
Has begun.
Suddenly the world
Seems a different place
Somehow full of grace
Full of light.

How was I to know
That so much hope
Was held inside me?
What has passed is gone
Now we journey on
Through the night.

How was I to know at last
That happiness can come so fast?
Trusting me the way you do
I’m so afraid of failing you
Just a child who cannot know
That danger follows where I go
There are shadows everywhere
And memories I cannot share

Nevermore alone
Nevermore apart
You have warmed my heart
Like the sun.
You have brought the gift of life
And love so long denied me.

Suddenly I see
What I could not see
Something suddenly
Has begun.

 

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15 Comments

  • Reply
    Ingrid
    January 1, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    Beautiful post, being a mother has been the most beautiful experience for me! 🙂 Thanks for sharing these beautiful words 🙂

  • Reply
    Erin
    January 1, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    Love your post! I’m not a mother yet but I can’t wait to get there to experience the love and emotions you do. Hope you had a wonderful new years! Cheers to 2013!
    xoxo

  • Reply
    Tery
    January 1, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    Ashley-You did it! You found the words to describe how becoming a momma feels.
    Thank you!

    I will share with my daughters. When I told my girls who were 12 and 18 at
    time that I was pregnant there were mixed feelings. My youngest extremely happy,
    my eldest cried. She had mixed feelings about an older momma having a healthy baby etc.
    All through my pregnancy she was not my biggest cheerleader. In the delivery who was the
    first to cry? Who wanted to hold him first? Who didn’t want to leave? Yes the one
    who I did not expect. I asked her why, whynow are you crying. She said “One look
    at him and I am in love with him.” I told her to multiply that by 1,000 times and that’s what it’s
    like to be a mom.

    I am happy to say that now at the age of 22 Cara is Ben’s biggest cheerleader and still
    in love with him. He has her wrapped around his little finger.

    Happy New Year.

  • Reply
    Tahnie
    January 4, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    i absolutely adore this ashley! i think you are always so wonderful at conveying your feelings, but sometimes lyrics help too.

    hugs to you momma!
    xoxo.

  • Reply
    Melissa Miller
    January 5, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing! Beautiful! I always feared having another child would take away the love I have for the first. Another parent told me, “Don’t worry, it’s like you grow another heart.” So true. I truly grew another heart with each of my children and all my hearts are full! 😉

  • Reply
    Weekend Link Love: Sweet MOMents | This Mommy Life
    January 19, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    […] Suddenly The Words by Lit […]

  • Reply
    Brett
    February 5, 2013 at 5:26 am

    “Suddenly” I was a Dad, (Notice I didn’t say Father, Any male can father a child.) and My heart was no longer my own.I was first to hold Him. Three years later, through lies, deceit and subterfuge he was taken from me. (divorce) I never gave up never gave in, easy though it may have been. I bowed,I scraped, what ever it took. I didn’t care what others thought. The “EX”, parents, friends, family, I did what I had to do without regard as to how they thought of me. Now, fifteen years later, “mom” has been out of work five years, “step-dad?” has been in jail four years, and yet the young MAN is now walking the parapets protecting us from the wolves in the night.”Red and Black” (U.S. ARMY CALVARY SCOUT) I take no credit, I did what I could, what was allowed and some times what I HAD TO DO. Love your children more than yourself ! As if you had any choice.

  • Reply
    Brett
    February 5, 2013 at 5:32 am

    P.S. The song was song by her Dad.

  • Reply
    Shannon
    May 20, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Like you, this song moved me in an indescribable way.
    Unlike you, I DID bawl in the movie theatre.
    My kids are grown and gone from me now….but I will always be ‘Ma’ to one and ‘Momma’ to the other.
    They’ve shown me time and time again how fast time flies, but the bond of love alwaysalwaysALWAYS remains….wherever we may be!

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