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judgement

judgement

do we wait for others to fail?
eagerly anticipate the reveal of their shortcomings?
perhaps, jump to conclusions about their actions or decision making–often assuming the worst?
so that somewhere, deep inside, we can feel better about our own lives?
feel better about our own shortcomings?
do we?

of course we do.

i do.
all of us do.
at least sometimes.
whether we admit it to ourselves or not.

and sometimes it takes being on the receiving end of the judgment to fully realize the impacts it can have…to help us fully realize that we don’t want to make anyone else feel that way–ever.

so we start our quest to be more positive, to see the best in others,
to see the world through the eyes of whatever God or greater power we believe in.

and on the days that we’re feeling pretty good about the strength we’re building,
we will surely be presented with an obstacle, a test…
something to challenge us to hold tight to our “reason” for doing what’s important to us in the first place.

and on that day, it will become easy to pass judgment on those judging us.
we’ll feel justified even.
but don’t.
trust me.
because i have before.
and i never felt better afterwards.
i never felt a greater resolve towards my purpose.
quite the opposite.
judgement kills passion.
and I’m not about to let mine die.
even if i have to fight every day to keep it alive.

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25 Comments

  • Reply
    tarah
    November 8, 2011 at 5:56 am

    amazing post! so true.

    http://livelaughandlovealwaysss.blogspot.com/

  • Reply
    Kelsey
    November 8, 2011 at 6:01 am

    Totally agree. Kinda hard to look at someone who appears to “have it all” and not pass judgement on them. I will be keeping this post in mind the next time I have to check myself. Thanks so much for this reminder!

  • Reply
    Pamela Stein
    November 8, 2011 at 6:04 am

    Thanks for sharing and being so open and honest. It is true, we all experience these feelings, but then we hurt when someone else feels this way toward us… Only His love can fill our hearts and His words of affirmation, love and grace can help us love unconditionally…

  • Reply
    Tahnie
    November 8, 2011 at 6:38 am

    You’ve done it again, oh fabulous one.

    xo.

  • Reply
    Megan
    November 8, 2011 at 6:50 am

    This has been such a challenge for me since becoming a mom! It’s easy to throw stones, but they hurt when we get hit! Thanks for this encouraging post. Judgement gets us no where!

  • Reply
    Jacqui
    November 8, 2011 at 7:44 am

    SO TRUE!

  • Reply
    Southern Gal
    November 8, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Wise words.

  • Reply
    Melanie Cantelmo
    November 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    so true!

  • Reply
    Amanda
    November 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Amen sister. 🙂

  • Reply
    Kristine
    November 8, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Thanks so much for posting this Ashley! Nicely said and so true!! I would love it if you linked up to our Help a Momma Out Link party! SO many moms out there can relate. Thanks for your consideration 🙂

    Kristine
    J&M’s Eye Candy Blog
    J&M’s Eye Candy on Facebook
    J&M’s Eye Candy Shoppe on Etsy

  • Reply
    Christine Pettijohn
    November 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I agree 100%. I try not to judge but I know I do. It sucks being judged so I try to keep myself in check when it comes to judging others.

  • Reply
    mama marchand
    November 8, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Amen! Just wrote a post about this very thing: http://www.mamamarchand.com/2011/11/i-choose-joy.html

  • Reply
    Sabrina
    November 8, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    So true. I am soooo guilty of this. I try not to be, but it’s hard.

    It’s my own insecurities that make me judgemental, but I’m working on it.

  • Reply
    Kari
    November 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Ashley, you are so awesome. You continually inspire me to be a better person.

  • Reply
    kathy h.
    November 8, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    On the subject of judgement, I am hindered by it. I so want to start my own blog. But then the fears of what my family, friends, and just the community will think! They WILL judge. I know I just need to get over it and just do it. (But I haven’t….)

    Do you ever feel these fears? Are you ever afraid to be so vulnerable? Does your husband ever worry, being that he works in the community? I’d love to know.

    Thanks dahling!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    November 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    fabulous post! i love the recognition that we need to remind ourselves of what we stand for everyday – we need aha moments on a regular basis. it is those things that keep our passions burning!

  • Reply
    Mindee
    November 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    I couldnt agree more! Great post about what everyone struggles with in life.

  • Reply
    Miki DeMann
    November 8, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    It is definitely true. Have you seen that popular pin on pinterest right now that says “Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I try to keep that saying in my head a lot lately.

    • Reply
      Make and Do Girl
      November 9, 2011 at 2:55 am

      I LOVE that saying. It’s really stuck with me too. Feels very “Oprah” to me.

  • Reply
    Make and Do Girl
    November 9, 2011 at 2:55 am

    Amen! Someone I work with recently asked me in all seriousness if I have a trust fund. Cracked me up because it’s quite the opposite and has always been that way. Made me think a lot though about how off our perceptions can be about people. I’m sure I’ve made plenty of equally inaccurate assumptions about a ton of people.

    Something I appreciate about your blog though is that you peel back the veneer to show that everything in your life isn’t always rosy. It gives your site a nice humaness and makes me feel like I’m not the only one out there whose life perpetually feels like a work in progress.

    Thanks for sharing your truth!

  • Reply
    Lindsay Lee
    November 9, 2011 at 4:12 am

    So proud of you 🙂

  • Reply
    Maria
    November 9, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    When someone does something to hurt me or if I want to judge someone for something “wrong” I think they are doing it helps me to remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has been hurt, damaged, mistreated just like we have been. Sometimes we bounce back from these things better and stronger and sometimes it leave us broken. I try and remember those that are cruel, mean, judgmental, and critical are usually just broken. If we can overcome our pride and overlook our own hurt we might be able to help someone repair their own damage. It’s not always easy but we can do it 🙂

  • Reply
    Laura Mason
    November 9, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Perfect timing, I needed to hear that right at this moment.. thank you!

  • Reply
    Aleisha McD
    November 15, 2011 at 7:21 am

    Beautifully written! I know your an LDS chick, so I ask, Have you read A Quiet Heart by Patricia Holland??? FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC! Such a gorgeous book….and I have a theory that if Sister Pat and I were to ever meet, we’d be BFFs. I’d take her to lunch and then we’d go shoe shopping…SHE IS THAT DOWN TO EARTH in her book. Anyway, I thought of my favorite quote from the book as I was reading your poignant prose: “We simply cannot call ourselves Christian and continue to judge one another–or ourselves–so harshly.” KA-POW! And good advice to live by. I strive not to judge others too harshly, and I strive not to be so critical of myself as well. (Nope, it ain’t easy.) Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  • Reply
    aprairiegirlincalifornia
    November 30, 2011 at 2:36 am

    you soo. spoke my heart. thank you for this reminder!!!

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