Best Of live

Two Minutes for #2

{not Baby W, but equally mischievous babe}

We’re friends right?!

Like the kinda friends with whom I can share an anecdote from my life that might make you {and me} blush?

If we’re not there yet, feel free to skip this post.

But if we are in fact besties, then prepare yourself for what you’re about to read.

And then tell me I’m not alone {please}.

There are few “activities” in my life that I get to experience in complete solitude. One of these “activities”, usually takes place once the hubby is done with work so he can watch Baby W while I take two minutes for #2.

Yep, I said it!

I go number two.

And yep, it only takes me about 2 minutes {I’ve learned to be quick}. And during that time I like to be alone–imagine that.

So when Baby W begins banging on the bathroom door yelling “Momma…Mom…Mom” and then slides his chubby little fingers under the door so that I can see them wiggling…well, you can see how it’s difficult to focus on the task at hand.

And then to top things off, instead of pulling Baby W away from the bathroom door to allow Momma to enjoy her 2 minutes in peace, the hubby opens it for him…and then shuts the door behind him once he has walked in before I have the chance to protest…

So now it’s me, Baby W and a roll of toilet paper that the Lil guy has decided to unravel down to the last sheet. And now Baby W would like to crawl up onto my lap, because as far as he’s concerned, I’m just sitting in a chair anxious to play with him and a roll of unraveled toilet paper.

So much for 2 minutes to myself…sigh.

Are we still friends–or have I scared you away forever?

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18 Comments

  • Reply
    kate
    January 13, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    HAHHAHAHAHA oh my goshhh this just made my day!!!

  • Reply
    LUCKY 7 DESIGN
    January 18, 2011 at 5:30 am

    OMG Ashley you have me crackin up right now. Just wait till he's 4 and wants to hear it and laughs or asks you all sorts of akward questions! I cant tell you the last 2 mins Ive had in my bathroom for 1 or 2…xoxox Still besties!

  • Reply
    Teoma
    January 18, 2011 at 5:31 am

    friends foreva!!

  • Reply
    Heather :: AFD Jewelry ::
    January 18, 2011 at 5:35 am

    Hahaha!! Yep, I'm quick now. And heaven forbid I actually shut the door – both of my girls FREAK our! U+I just don't even bother anymore.

  • Reply
    Denise
    January 18, 2011 at 6:15 am

    I totally understand! And I'll take it a step further…Why is it that we can't get 2 minutes by ourselves for this mandatory activity, yet the husband feels he not only GETS to, but NEEDS to sit in there for AT LEAST half an hour, but more often around an hour? LOL

  • Reply
    Sarah @ The Bird's Papaya
    January 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    the title "Restroom" is WRONG!!!!!!!
    Also, during a 1 minute #1 break, my (now almost 3 year old) was only 8 months old and her older sister opened the basement door while I was having my MINUTE and down the stairs she went.
    Life lesson: any moments of privacy or silence, are a hazard to my kids.
    HA!!!

  • Reply
    Jenny
    February 23, 2011 at 2:07 am

    So I linked to this post from your anniversary post.. and I literally laughed out loud. Because I can beat that… today my 3 and 1 year old joined me when I was doing this "activity".. but with books! For ME to read to THEM! The joys of mommyhood…

  • Reply
    Happy Home Fairy
    May 12, 2011 at 1:20 am

    I totally fed my 2-year-old a yogurt cup while sitting on the toilet yesterday. 🙂

  • Reply
    Denise
    July 22, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    I'm late to the party. I realize this post is old. But hey, it's new to me, cuz I just found your blog yesterday.

    I thought you were announcing #2 as in…you know…#2 is in the works. Wait. That didn't come out right. As in…you're expecting a #2. Ugh…you know what I mean? That you're pregnant.

    Girlfriend (can I call you that now?) no body with kids poops alone. I'm sure of it.

    And for the record I can poop in about 45 seconds. 60 seconds if I'm not paying attention.

    The trick is to have stinky poop. When the young'uns get to be about 4-years-old they don't like the smell so they don't hang around too long.

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  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    September 17, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    I’m totally there with you. Right down to the chubby fingers under the door. And now that mine is a full blown terrible-two-er he opens the door himself. I lost my brain and my privacy two years ago and I don’t think I’ll be getting either back any time soon. Good thing there’s some trade off action or I would be one crazy lady.

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  • Reply
    Miranda
    March 5, 2013 at 10:09 pm

    This is hilarious! I don’t have kids yet but I have two clingy dogs that will shove their paws under the door if I try to go to the bathroom by myself. What’s even better is that if they don’t do it on their own my boyfriend will put one of their paws under the door. I guess I know what I have to look forward to! Lol

  • Reply
    Tracy
    March 20, 2013 at 3:00 am

    This happens to me EVERY day! I don’t even close the door if its just me and the two kids anymore… totally gross and a point I never thought that I would reach in my life BUT, when the hubby is home the door is closed, I take in my phone, and I steal an extra few minutes after LOL TMI sorry!

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