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Mommy Advice That Makes Me Want to Scream

Taking Mommy advice is a tricky thing.
It seems I’m one of those Momma’s who likes to give,
but often doesn’t want to hear it.

Don’t get me wrong,
I’ll take any tips or hints or tricks
that might actually get my toddler to sleep through the night
at least once in his 21 months on this Earth.

And its not that I don’t want to hear about what has worked for other Momma’s, because trust me, I actually do.

It’s just that sometimes,
the advice I hear
makes me feel…
hmmm, whats the word?

Because, I swear to you,
my kid is the exception to every rule.

There is no book written
that has the solutions to his…
How shall I put this?
His energy.

When he’s awake,
nothing gets done.
And I’ve learned to accept that.

I wait for the moment he goes down for a nap
and then I speed through my daily list,
often with the heart rate of an Olympic sprinter.

So when I hear the most popular bit of Momma advice out there,
it usually makes me want to scream.

Said advice: Ya know, you should really sleep every time he goes down for a nap.  {Insert my frustrated scream here}

Well, sure, in a perfect world,
one where someone else ran my errands,
did my laundry, my dishes, my grocery shopping,
my diaper changing, my cooking {oh wait, I don’t cook}…
In that world,
I would happily take a nap
when my kiddo does.

But until then,
nap time will continue to be
to get life done.

Even if I’m a tired Momma,
he’s a happy and healthy boy
and for that I am 100% grateful.

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  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 6:49 am

    Love this post! As usual πŸ™‚ I can totally relate, that's "me time" too and I refuse to give it up! Keep rockin on momma!

  • Reply
    Holly - Holly Days
    April 16, 2011 at 6:52 am

    I feel like I could have written this post! My kid is so high energy that I can't get anything done when he's awake. So, nap time is when I do my chores…shower…brush my teeth…that sort of thing. πŸ˜‰

  • Reply
    Trisha @ 3 Four and Under
    April 16, 2011 at 6:57 am

    I'm right there with ya! If I sleep while they sleep, then when will I get anything done?

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 7:13 am

    We have a bundle of energy too. He makes me so worn out just watching him. I would love to take a nap when he naps, but I need some "me" time occasionally.

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 7:19 am

    haha…………I belong to a different culture so just curious,if you don't cook,what do you eat?
    I mean esp the baby?

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 7:34 am

    my son is 3 and still wakes thru the night, and stopped napping at bout 12months. hes not too bad during the day. my friends son is just go go go ALL day and she struggles to get anything done, so i have seen it and its draining to watch!!

  • Reply
    Bec @ eleventhirtyish
    April 16, 2011 at 7:58 am

    In a perfect world we would all nap when they nap! I think "me time" is more important than a nap – i found with my son it seemed to come in waves or cycles and i remember being told that from 12 months or so that boys experience bursts of testosterone that make them ??? energetic! and even now that he is 6 i can still see the bursts although now it's more of an angry/ emotional energy! i found it helpful to think of the energy in terms of the "bursts" and not him doing it to annoy me!! LOL xx Bec

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Great post as I can totally relate. If I napped when he did, when will I have time read blogs, write my blog and do Mom things in general?

    Have a great weekend with your bundle of energy!

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 8:21 am

    For a second there I thought I was reading something that I just e-maild my friend. I'm right there with ya sista!

  • Reply
    Our Fairy tale
    April 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

    I have just found your blog and it has made me smile! I am so sorry your boy is not sleeping but it makes me feel like i am not the only one with a little girl who refuses to sleep through the night! Yes I know I should sleep when she does but like you say when would anything get done! N yes I know I should leave her to cry it out but it does not work! I am about ready to burn all the "how to get ur baby to sleep books" as they do not work! x

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    my 22 month old (also a boy) still does NOT sleep thru the night either! im expecting in september and i keep thinking this has to change! Mean while I sielently scream when i here my friends say that their little ones go to bed at 8 and they sleep until 8 or 9 am. Boooooo!

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    I have NEVER been able to nap when Izzy naps. When else am I suppost to get anything done?! My parents and the hubs are FAMOUS for telling me I need to sleep when she sleeps. Right, like you're gonna be hip on not having clean boxers since I was sleeping :\

    I even told a close friend of mine who is expecting soon – Don't let ANYONE tell you what you should be doing with your child – even if it's me – toss me the stink eye and say, "Shelley, remember what you told me about the unsolicited mom advice?!"

  • Reply
    My House of L
    April 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    I completely understand! Naptime is worktime for me….if it wasn't for naptime, nothing would get done. I once had a women come up to me at a restaurant and tell me I needed to read "The Strong-Willed Child" by James Dobson. I was in total disbelief that she had even said that to me that I couldn't even respond! I was so angry, we literally got up and left the restaurant without ordering.

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Hers the thing: when people give me advice about how to get a stain out of my shirt (I have lots) I usually take it and it works! This is because most shirts are the same, be them different colors and sizes.

    There are no two humans who are exactly the same; God made it so we would all be different and lovely. This means that different things work for us and it's the same for our kiddies (the tiny humans). So, I usually listen to the advice and know that I will just keep doing what works for my child.

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    I'm with you on this. I always felt like my daughter was incredibly high maintenance. I could never get anything pleasurable done during naps! IF she even napped! But, it will get better. It will get easier. Hang in there.

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    I am screaming with you. I have two boys, 4 and 1 1/2 and they are all energy. I can't get a thing done when they are awake. When they finally go to sleep I have to just try to play catch up. I never actually get ahead. I am always exhausted. So I am there with you!

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm

    I read somewhere that boys have 50% more energy than little girls. My mom always says that my son is a busy little boy! He is endless energy! I can totally relate! πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Ana B
    April 16, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    I have a little girl, but pretty much the same thing here! When she is awake she wants my constant attention. She 'helps' me get things done around the house, but sometimes I just want to do it in half the time without her. Mostly her nap time is my blogging time πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    My little boy is the same way. The only time I can get anything done is when he takes a nap or on the rare occasion that grandma visits or I can get him to play in his crib for a little while. That usually lasts around 10 minutes before he starts screaming wanting attention. He is so spoiled.

  • Reply
    Wilson Family
    April 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Wow, your son sounds exactly like my 15 month old daughter and your right they are the exeption to the norm and we just have to deal with it – atleast that is what I say to myself everday when my house is a disaster, Im still in PJs, and laundry is pilled high. Oh well. Good Luck – and by the way nothing wears our my child.

  • Reply
    Laura @ live.laugh.photograph
    April 16, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    oh honey, i think you must have been writing about ME! my daughter stopped taking naps at 18 months. of course i got some "advice" from other moms about how to get her to take them. i tried it, and it didn't work. so, i just said screw it and did my OWN thing! Now "me time" is after everyone goes to bed at night πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    seriously i. can. relate.
    my son has more energy that i knew possible
    my pediatrician confirms, he is active {understatement}
    since before he was born
    i have. never. slept when he did, ever.

    there should be a group for us πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    I am so with you! I have 2 under 2! What an adventure! My oldest is almost 23 mths. He is so all over the place! I can never get anything done when he is awake. If he sees me picking up his toys he immediately comes over and dumps the baskets out. If I try folding laundry he throws my piles all over. We just recently broke his bink (he still used it in bed), which helped him stop waking throughout the night, but I still have a 3 mth old who wakes once in the early morning hours to eat. Some days I'm lucky if I get a shower. It does get easier to deal as the days go by. You jut have to find what wors best for you and your little guy!

  • Reply
    Claudia Ayotte
    April 16, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    LOL – not being rude but I love this post. Ada was the best, by 4 months the girl was sleeping through the night,taking long naps and sleeping in late. BOSTON…. lets just say because of him I really didn't want anymore boys. Don't get me wrong I'm super happy NOW with the fact that we are having another one but B has really put me through a lot. That kid still wakes up at least 3-4 times a week in the middle of the night, mind you he's almost 3 1/2. He quit naps early and has so much energy that I CAN'T leave him alone for a min. We have struggled with him SO MUCH with the sleeping thing/napping/non-stop. And EVERYONE and their mothers will tell you oh Boys are easier OR every kid is different. Well I'm the oldest of 4 girls, we might be drama when we hit H.S. but at least I know what to expect and how to deal with it. BOYS – I wasn't ready for and I fear for his life EVERY single time I hear "MAMI LOOK AT THIS COOL TRICK" >;0( BTW I also hate to hear take a NAP, EVEN MORE ANNOYING when you hear it and you have 2 kids, REALLY? Take a nap and do what with Ada? First of all I got to much TO DO and second I hate waking up all groggy and then have to clean. No thanks, I'll skip the nap and get things done while I can. My advice: try what ever you fell comfortable with and if it doesn't work accept the fact and move on. Also know that you are not the only one, there are plenty of mom's out there who go through the same thing, NOT that I'm someone who likes to hear about bad things happening to people but it DOES comfort me to know it's NOT me, it just happens. I love to goggle my kids problems and read other horror stories, makes me feel like maybe I don't suck at life. And not to sound anti-boy but hey, I'm just keeping it real. I wish that at church instead of everyone asking us when we first got married " when are you guys going to start having kids" that all the MOM's would have pulled me aside at given it to me straight. Again, don't get me wrong I LOVE my kids but boy have they made me CRY. Anyhow, hang in there girl, they have to grow out of it someday, right? xoxoxoxoxo

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Every kid is different, and remember that when you do hear advice. I take nap time to also get things done. I treasure that me time!

  • Reply
    Lindsey @ Inspiring Creations
    April 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    My little girl was such a ball of energy from the time she was born, and now she is almost 4 and is still all energy! She stopped having naps by the time she was 1 and is just always going and going. I never was able to to "nap when she naps!" I hate when people say that! Because who really can do that! πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Jayna Rae
    April 16, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    I think Baby W and My Monster may be sharing souls. Not until recently could I feign to manage anything while he is awake, and now he doesn't nap 80% of the time. People say, "just make him." Sure . . . Once he is up, HE IS UP!!! Run. Run. Run. Climb. Mommy play with me. Mischief. He is almost three and still wakes up sometimes in the middle of the night for water, sometimes in hysterics because he's buried it in his blankets and I have to find it. People with less energetic children do nt fully understand the toll that this can take on the mam, not to mention the house work. I love it though, and I am sure you do too. I can't imagine having a little boy who didn't run amuck. His energy is full of joy and crazy fun. It almost can't be contained in his little body. Praise God for the warm weather and outside play time.

  • Reply
    Annie Nielson
    April 16, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Sometimes I try to lay down to take a nap when my 2 boys (ages 3 & 2) do. That's if there is the rare occassion that they'll nap at the same time. BUT, anytime I lay down all I can think of is all of the stuff I need to get done. SO, I don't nap πŸ™‚ It'll get better though. I can actually get a few things done during the day, while my boys are awake now that they're getting a little bit older (like 3 & 2 is old, haha).

  • Reply
    Julie Schmidt
    April 16, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    A friend once said to me, "those things that make a toddler most frustrating will make him/her a wonderful adult". I always try to remind myself of that when I get frusterated with or exhauseted by one of my children. I have 4 so I am always frusterated and exhausted…lol. You're a great momma. Just keep doin' what you're doin'.

  • Reply
    Natalia Lynn
    April 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    It is the mom's with easy kids. I thought I could give advice after I had my first. Then I had Eli. We call him Pompei. You know, the volcano that caused mass destruction everywhere? Yep. That's my son. Now I think twice before I say anythin to other moms.

  • Reply
    Jessie K
    April 16, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    My SIL is "blessed" with two high energy kids, one girl, one boy. After a visit with them, I happily come home and try to get thru the day the best I can with the kids I have!

  • Reply
    Erica @ Acire Adventures
    April 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    I don't know why anyone would want to nap when they're napping. It's nice to be awake so you can acknowledge the fact that you do have some time to do something! πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Haha! This is exactly how I feel about nap time…it is a time to get work done! Imagine my sorrow when my daughter, age 22 months, decided not to take naps anymore! I really cried.

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    so spot on! I've always hated that advice. It's just lame. Really, when else are you supposed to get your stuff done?
    You were linked up on tipnut, so I popped over for a visit. I'm sure I'll be back! πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    April 16, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    I have found that the amount of advice given by other mothers is directly proportional to the number of children they have. Mothers of one tend to be full of advice, mothers of two only give advice when asked specifically and mothers of three or more RARELY give advice and just listen. πŸ˜‰ Personally, I have two, one happens to be a a very busy two year old boy who comes to sleep with us ever night around 3 a.m. πŸ™‚
    We sometimes forget to acknowledge it, but we are really an army marching through motherhood together… picking our battles.

  • Reply
    ilene @ muchloveilly
    April 17, 2011 at 12:54 am

    he must get his energy from his momma πŸ˜‰

    btw love the last pic of you – such a cool sign and you are too cute as always!!!

  • Reply
    ilene @ muchloveilly
    April 17, 2011 at 12:54 am

    he must get his energy from his momma πŸ˜‰

    btw love the last pic of you – such a cool sign and you are too cute as always!!!

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 1:30 am

    this is probably the reason my mom used to give me and my brother the yummy grape juice (Dimatapp) or Benedryl.
    Don't know how you mothers do it..

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Great post!
    Love the shirt in the Barn Owl photo. Where did you get it?

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 1:44 am

    I can totally relate! Last week I was out with my 1 yr old who happened to be taking a nap. Someone was adoring her and made the comment that I too should be napping. I responded with "I wish". My daughters are 16 months apart and there are so many days where they do not coordinate their naps.

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 2:17 am

    It must be a boy thing…I have two girls and they each slept and napped well. I realize now how very blessed I was (and still am!). I have a 13 month old son and he hasn't slept through the night ever and his naps are about 20 minutes at best…it makes for long days, but I am thankful my babies are healthy and happy. Good Luck Momma and thank you for helping me get through "those" days. You rock!

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 3:05 am

    Omg I hide in shame (until I read this post) because I am in the same shoes. My daughter is 15 months old (never slept a full night) and is "high spirited" aka "energizer bunny" and I feel the same way when I get "advice" because nothing applies to her. So I usually say thanks Ill try that – although I have actually done it and been defeated. Sigh..oh well haha

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 3:43 am

    Nap time is my time to do what I want. Most of the time, I do a little house work but get really lazy and just sit to watch a show or read a good book. I can't nap even if I wanted to. My kids know to wake up the second my eyes are closed. What I hated hearing most was to wait a few years to have kids. I hated that. Everyone is different.

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 4:32 am

    I totally get this one. Hugs to you my dear! My son is one of the craziest, high strung, stubborn toddlers I have ever met, mixed with he doesnt sleep. ever. I pull my hair out on a daily basis. Yet I love him and will have another one someday!

  • Reply
    Angie S.
    April 17, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    I can totally relate, except the problem I'm having is with potty training. I have been trying for close to a year now to potty train my very bright 2.5 yr old daughter to no avail… and dealing with all of the "helpful" advice from people who all claim to have mastered potty training in a weekend. I know they mean well, but I always feel like such a LOSER… a loser who will never potty train her daughter!!! LOL!

  • Reply
    Laura @ ON{thelaundry}LINE
    April 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    aw man, I am with you, except for me it's like, I cannot sleep during the day, unless I am so completely excausted that there is no way on earth I will be able to not sleep.

    It gets better though! I had a Super Busy Girl and now that she is three she is sooo much better and I can get things done. In fact, she's easier than a lot of other three year olds I know in that regard. Maybe she got it out early? Anyways, my sister in law has a little boy right now (her fourth) that is exactly like my girl was and like I gather your boy is and my daughter is very comforting to her, lol, she's told me so a few times.

    Also, any advice whatsoever pertaining to getting kids to eat things? phbbbbbbt. thumbsdown. I have had to just repeat over and over to myself 'she will not starve herself to death, just present a healthy balance and ignore what she does from there.'

  • Reply
    April 17, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    First of all, how CUTE is that first picture of your little boy? And I LOVE how you edited it and edited the text, too.

    Also, you should know that I re-read through your "momma-in-training" posts over and over again. I only have 3 1/2 weeks left to get ready for my baby boy. I hope you know how much you inspire me. I hope I'm as good of a momma as you are. Seriously, you're amazing.

  • Reply
    Sarah Kelly
    April 18, 2011 at 1:38 am

    I think the term that best describes your little guy and my darling daughter is spirited. Spirited kids are just more- of everything! More energenic, more demanding, more picky, more sassy and sleep less. Someone recommended to me the book "Raising your spirited child" but I have yet had the time to read it. πŸ™‚ If you do, send me the cliff notes!

  • Reply
    April 18, 2011 at 3:00 am

    Ummmmm okay, whoever said that is stupid. Every mom knows that you get stuff done while your kid sleeps. Seriously. (No offense meant…but are they high??) You've got it right!
    P.S. you look HOT in that last picture!

  • Reply
    April 18, 2011 at 3:03 am

    Yeah, can we get a tutorial on that hair?? Yours, not your son's. πŸ™‚

  • Reply
    Barn Owl Primitives
    April 18, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    ash ~ the BEST advise i ever got was "don't give your momma friends advise". babies, unlike TV's and cameras, don't come with manuals. there is no RIGHT way or BEST practice to raising our kids. you have to do what YOU have to do in that moment. that same person gave me some other great advise…"when your fellow momma is in need, bring muffins, and cookies and by all means lots of COFFEE and listen. be a friend not a knower of all things."
    we all might be a bit fatter with all the muffins and latte's, but we'll all be a little bit happier too!!

    xo ~ kristi

    ps – that friend, with all the fabulous advise, is my momma!!

  • Reply
    April 18, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Ha! totally agree, I have a 5 1/2 month old and he is non-stop and if he goes down for a nap that is the only time I have to get stuff done too. bUT i even find when he goes to bed at night that I don't want to go to bed (even though I am surviving on about 3 hours sleep a night) because I want to enjoy the peace and quiet! Oh and I did try napping once and just as I was falling asleep he woke up so I felt worse than I did before!!

  • Reply
    Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
    April 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I never slept when my kids slept. That was my time to get things done or do something for myself! I admit, though, I've taken a few naps with my daughter during this pregnancy!

  • Reply
    Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
    April 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I never slept when my kids slept. That was my time to get things done or do something for myself! I admit, though, I've taken a few naps with my daughter during this pregnancy!

  • Reply
    Krooked Smiles
    April 20, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I just recently found your blog and I love what you do! I have NO advice for you except I wanted you to know you are not alone! My three year old slept through the night from the day he came home until the day he turned two and went to a big boy bed and now I can’t get him out of my bed!! He only takes naps at school; wkends are the only time I get laundry and other house stuff done! Between working full time and trying to get my Photog business going I am too tired to force him out at night! People’s advice frustrates me! I too feel like a failure but hey you do what works for you and YOUR Precious family you’re not a failure!! Thanks for all the great inspiration you are definitely a DAILY read for me!!

  • Reply
    The Nobles
    April 27, 2011 at 9:39 pm

    I am totally with you…I hate the advice when it isn't asked for. And yes, naps are the only time to get ANYTHING done. My little T must be almost the same exact age as your little guy (he was born on 7.3.09) so I love reading all of your posts because you are always right with me!!! Keep hanging on and doing what is right for YOU!

  • Reply
    November 5, 2012 at 5:40 am

    My son who has always been a bundle of energy and struggles with ADHD now. I was always complaining to my grandma about how I could never get anything done when he was awake because I was too busy making sure he wasn’t into things all over the house. A while later she shows up at my house with a full kid sized cleaning set. It had dust rags, a broom, dust pan, mop, feather dusters and all kinds of pretend cleaning supplies. She also brought a vacuum sweeper and a play washer and dryer with his own laundry basket! It was a miracle! My son would go everywhere I went and clean right beside me. If I did so did he(grandma also found a bunch of baby doll clothes at a garage sale for his “laundry”! All days were not perfect but I did get some time to do my housework. He loved to help me cook so that was always his “reward” for helping mommy clean. This is not advice. I just thought I could share what worked for me. My son is 13 now and still takes great pride in being helpful. His teachers have found that letting him pass out papers or run an errand for the teacher gives him just enough of a break in his day to allow him to reset and get back to business when he is especially fidgety that day. Good luck with your little ones. I know this might sound crazy now but you will look at your teenagers one day and think fondly of the times you are in now. And always remember those chores will be there when you get to them, enjoy your littles while there still little.

  • Reply
    amy @amy+mayd
    May 11, 2013 at 4:27 am

    Great post… I can totally relate! My daughter is 2.5 and has slept through the night maybe 2 or 3 times in her life… she has SO much energy it is unbelievable. All I can do is hold on for the ride… I can’t fight her energy, I have just accepted that its a great attribute about her… Someday I’ll have some time to myself again but then when you have a high energy kid… can you ever really go backwards to things being chill? I think it seems sad to think someday we won’t all be running after her. I can totally relate anyway! Great writing.

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