Probably my favorite moment to cherish–in all the world–are those moments when I watch pure love pass back and forth between my two boys. It happens often, actually. This exchange of loyalty, of compassion, of kindness–of brotherhood. And when it happens I stop. I soak it in. I smile. And I give thanks for this answer to the most fervent of prayers I put out into the universe: Dear Heavenly Father, This above all, please let them love one another. Please, oh please.
You see, I’m an only child.
And while I’m no stranger to the deep, true love one can feel for a family member or dear friend–I have never experienced the kind of love that can only be shared between siblings being raised along side one another. I never felt deprived growing up. In fact, I can’t even think of a time when I hoped for a sibling (which, if we psychoanalyze, may be a bit strange). But even still, I knew things would be different when I started creating my own little family. There would be brothers and sisters–perhaps even a gaggle of them.
So then I grew up, started the family I always dreamed of, and quickly learned that there is an added level of adjustment for an only child becoming a parent.
I was raised in a home where I was the only one to start and finish a cereal box.
No one but me used my towel or hair brush.
I was never teased or tormented.
Clothes never mysteriously disappeared from my drawers
and toys could always be found right where I left them.
All eyes were on me every Christmas morning,
and my Mom never had to miss my soccer games to go to my brothers instead.
These were the perks, I suppose.
On the flip side, I’ve often heard life as an only child being described as lonely.
And while sure, growing up I have certainly been consumed with moments (especially over Summer vacation) of overwhelming boredom, I don’t remember ever feeling lonely. Actually, I took refuge in the quite moments I spent alone.
I read a lot.
Wrote in my journal.
Built forts. Rode bikes. Rollerbladed.
Went to soccer practice.
And made friends with the neighborhood kids.
Every day I had several hours that would be spent doing exactly what I felt like doing–on my terms, no compromises.
It would have been easy for me to have grown into a selfish child, and later a selfish adult.
But I feel like my family made an added effort to teach me lessons in compassion and kindness, the anti-venom for selfishness.
So selfish, No.
Independent however, Yes.
Very independent, in fact.
Perhaps bordering on selfish at times.
Which can be a challenging quality to bring into a marriage…
And even more challenging when adapting to life as a parent.
One day, your the gal who has control over every minute of her day.
Who reads books.
Goes to the gym any time she feels like it.
And enjoys her meals in peace and quiet…
Then the next day, you’re a Mom whose every minute is determined by the needs of her children,
and every meal is shared with a baby who obviously prefers your spoon over his and a 3 year old who is determined to backwash and lick the surface of every piece of food on your plate.
All sense of personal space is lost, as one child is precariously balanced on your hip while the other is attempting to climb to the top of your shoulders.
And time alone…what’s that?
I spent the first 2.5 years of Wesley’s life being consumed with guilt anytime I felt like being alone.
What kind of Mother was I if I found myself craving some time away from my child?
I’ve since grown wiser.
Cut myself some slack.
Acknowledged that I am who I am–and sometimes I need to feed the part of my soul that requires peaceful moments of solitude.
It helps that I have a husband who gets it. A husband who comes home, takes one look into my eyes, and can see immediately if my head is about to explode.
In which case, if I am about to lose my mind, he quickly (and without judgement) frees me to take a much needed breather…to rejuvenate…to be alone with my thoughts and in my own space–even if it’s only for 15 minutes in the car of my driveway.
It’s important.
Learning what your soul requires,
and then feeding it rather than fighting it.
And my soul requires a daily dose of:
1. Quiet time alone.
2. In a space I don’t have to share with another person.
And then, about once a month I take my soul on a date–where I sit alone at a table and eat a meal in peace, while reading a magazine and people watching. It’s pretty much my idea of heaven on earth.
What do you do to feed your soul? Tell me.
Love Banner c/o: Lisa Leonard Designs
This bench is the first thing you see when you walk into my home. And this sweet reminder, that love is spoken in our home, is the message I want others to feel as they are welcomed at the door. Thanks Lisa, it’s perfect!
Gold necklaces worn above c/o: Lisa Leonard Designs
20% OFF COUPON CODE: littlemiss20
*Discount does not include clearance items, non-handmade items, or anything from the new hope{full} line.
I have to tell you that I may have shed a few tears when I opened my latest package from Lisa Leonard. When I saw these new necklaces in Lisa’s shop, they spoke to my heart. I’m loving the sweet, simple initials of my boys–held close to my heart. And then I like to layer with this second necklace commemorating the three most important dates of my life: my wedding day and the birth of my sons (yes, July is a big month in our home).
Also, I’m excited to help Lisa announce the launch of their new line called hope{full}–a collection dedicated to providing opportunities and changing lives.
In the words of Lisa Leonard Designs: We believe a necklace can make a difference, a scarf can change a life and a bracelet can feed a belly! Each piece from our hope{full} collection is fair trade and sustainable, giving work to Ecuadorian women and building families and communities. Additionally, with the sale of each piece from the hope{full} collection, Lisa Leonard Designs will donate a portion of the proceeds back to Jungle Kids. Each piece sold will buy a school lunch for a child in need!
Shop the new line here.
And check out this fun video tutorial showing how to wear a hope{full} scarf in your hair:
Lisa Leonard Scarf Style #1: Big Bow from lisa leonard on Vimeo.
