Dear Two Year Old Baby W

Dear Baby W,
Our days have been way too hot for you to take your naps upstairs in your race car bed,
so you have been snoozing on the couch while I work away in the next room.
Today you woke up early, in one of those inconsolable bits of hysterical cries.
In fact, you wake up crying from your naps a lot.
It’s kinda your thing.
And after two years, you think I’d be used to it by now.
But I’m not.
It still twists my heart in knots.
I feel helpless as my attempts to console you seem to be in vain.
I cuddle you, I kiss you, I assure you that I am right here next to you.
But your cries continue for about 5 minutes–which feels more like 45 minutes.
And then, out of no where, you’re fine.
Happy as a clam actually.
Your carefree day continues as if the tears never happened.
Today played out a little differently though.
Maybe because you’re getting your molars,
so you’re a bit more sensitive than usual.
Because today, when the hysterics started
and I was immediately by your side with my comforting Momma voice,
your crying stopped.
You crawled up on my lap,
rolled over, looked me in the eyes,
gave a half smile and went back to sleep.
Usually I carfeully place you back on the couch
and head over to squeeze in as much work as possible
before you wake up again.
But today I didn’t.
Today I stayed.
And I soaked it all in.
The way your once little body now hangs over my legs,
as only your torso now fits on my lap.
The way your once pudgy fingers have thinned out
and now take up the entire palm of my hand.
I brushed the hair off your forehead,
ran my hand over your soft tummy
and squeezed your little toes.
I silently giggled as I noticed how the extreme chubbiness of your cheeks causes them to almost hang on your face, just like mine did when I was your age {and still a little today}.
I even took the time to softly scrape some dried boogies off your face,
as only a Momma can.
These two years have gone by fast my little man.
You have tested me and taught me more about myself
and my purpose in this life than I ever thought possible.
You are talking all the time now.
It’s not always the English language, or any language for that matter,
but you’re talking–and that gives me relief. 
Your favorite words are: truck, monkey, trash, pool, Buzz and Elmo.
We haven’t had a super duper two year old bash for your birthday yet
because your sweet great grandma had an important surgery scheduled
and we know how important it is to have her there for your special day.
So in the meantime, we played it low key,
got you a handful of presents,
{that you eagerly opened with an enthusiastic “Woah”}
took you swimming, and made you your favorite spaghetti
and a batch of botched lumpy whoopie pies. 
It was the perfect day.
Happy birthday big boy!
I love you to the moon and back.
Stop growing up, mmkay…
love, Mommy
Dear other Mommies, what has been the hardest birthday for you yet?
Ashley Stock
I'm Ashley. Sometimes I craft, occasionally I cook, everyday I write, and I'm always Momma. This is my blog. I keep it real while still seeing the rainbows and butterflies in all of life's lessons.
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock
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Comments

  1. Arm Candy For You says:

    aw………….isn't this the sweetest:)
    God bless baby W who will soon be a young man:)

  2. That's so sweet. He is such a cutie.

    My daughter just turned 35, enjoy these moments they go so fast.

    My grand is 9 already.

  3. How nice, I miss how my son would fall asleep like that. He's 3 now, and doesn't really like to have sleeps during the day any more.

    The hardest birthday out of the 3 so far, would be his third. It was the first one that all his friends from preschool were invited to, so was a bit harder organising food & drinks as I was unsure as what they would/wouldn't eat. I also spent a lot more time on the cake (http://tammyroses.blogspot.com/2011/05/treasure-chest-full-of-golduh-i-mean.html)

    Thank you for sharing these gorgeous words, they really made me smile

  4. ReflectiveMomof3 says:

    My third son is about to turn 1. He is our last child, so this birthday has been the hardest for me to see come and soon go.

  5. Michelle says:

    You know when my Cohen (my 2 yr old) turned 1 it wasn't too bad – I was pregnant with our 2nd so I knew I had another baby along the way. When he turned 2, I was pretty sad because he was such a "big boy". I think the hardest so far is when Lucas (our now 1 yr old) turned one yesterday. I got super sad knowing he's turning into a mini toddler and not a baby. Not to mention there is no baby in the near future so it made my heart sad. I'm so glad to hear you had a nice little birthday for baby W :)

  6. wildchild says:

    aww happy birthday baby w :) cutie patootie. and did you dye your hair?! i like it.

  7. CaseyWiegand says:

    awwwww SO sweet, you are beautiful!

  8. our boys are really close in age! and i totally relate to this post and all those emotions of your once baby growing into a little dude! two was the hardest for me .. but the most fun, yet!
    our boys also share the same favorite words – especially buzz and elmo :)

  9. megchapin says:

    So cute! I can not wait to bring a little love nug into this world and write them amazing letters on my blog like you do :)
    xo

  10. WOW, it seems like everyone's little guys are turning 2 right now. Mine turns 2 in August and I cried last night just thinking about it! I can't believe it! My husband keeps telling me its a good thing he's getting bigger and he's healthy and happy. :-) Hang in there mommies!!

  11. stephaniegiese says:

    This was such a sweet, heart felt post. The hardest for me was when my youngest turned one because I didn't have a baby anymore, but now I'm pregnant again so I get to have that time all over again. :)

  12. so sweet, he's a blessed boy to have you for his mommy!

    side note: i think i have that same bathing suit!

    blessings, friend
    andi

  13. The Miller Five says:

    Aw how sweet. Happy Birthday to your little man. Mine just turned two also and this was the hardest birthday for me. He's growing up so fast and he's definitely not a baby anymore. I'm savoring every moment I have with him. Thanks for the wonderful post.

  14. What a beautiful post!! Its amazing how quickly they grow up!! I have two boys…one that just turned 4 last month & the other will be a year old next month!! None of the birthdays have been too hard yet, but for some reason I think that when my oldest turns 5 next year that will be difficult for me. I don't know why…5 just seems old, sounds so big…doesn't it?! Plus I know that the first day of kindergarten will shortly follow & that REALLY bothers me!!

  15. This post is wonderful!!! It's crazy how fast kiddos grow up!! The hardest birthday is when my oldest turned five!! I was like WOAH!! He'll be 7 pretty soon, tear…lol. Take in the moments and enjoy it!!

  16. Baby W reminds me of my own high-spirited son. He has two modes: full on awake high energy and completely asleep. He hates to be groggy!! He would wake up from his naps screaming. Once I heard that it was a low blood sugar thing so I would give him chocolate as soon as he started screaming. I am not sure it helped, I think it distracted him enough to help him. I felt so helpless! He stopped taking naps about four years of age so I rarely see that anymore. And now my six year old seems to be a happy well adjusted kid!! So don't worry. :-).

  17. Beautiful! And beautiful photos :)

    Birthdays have never been hard. But the first day of all-day kindergarten for my twins (my babies). Oh. my. goodness. I bawled.

  18. Lindsay says:

    This is so sweet Ash. Thanks for this reminder…sometimes it easy to get caught up in MY busyness that I forget to ENJOY them :)

  19. My oldest turns five this fall and I think it will be the first time I'll be a little sad. All of a sudden, he went from my little baby to this BIG boy…so cliche, but time flies!! Happy birthday to your little guy!

  20. I think 2 years old was the hardest for me. For my first son (who is almost 5) he fell asleep on my lap after his 2nd birthday party and it was the first time he had done that since he was a little baby. I sat there for an hour, with him sweating all over me, because I just KNEW he wasn't a baby anymore and everything was changing.

    My second son turns 2 years old in 2 months and it's killing me to see him grow from a baby into a KID. A real KID! Like his big brother. They really aren't babies long enough (for me).

    Happy Birthday to Baby W – and to you for surviving 2 years!

  21. This is a very sweet post, and I can feel your pain. My daughter has been waking up crying from naps… and will randomly yell out in her sleep. Her bedroom is across the hall from mine, so we hear it EVERY.TIME. Not fun when its every couple hours in the night. *sigh*
    Wish I knew what caused it, so I could stop it. Bad dreams? Too hot? Too cold? UGH! Just so frustrating when you can't help!

  22. The Oxford Family says:

    My son just turned 2 and I catch myself holding and snuggling him just a little longer while I can too! Happy birthday baby W!

  23. My oldest son turned 4 on the 5th of this month and it was the hardest thing for me. I cried thinking that he probably won't want me to cuddle him that much longer. My youngest son turns 2 in December and I think that one will be even tougher because he's our last baby and I can't stand how fast he's growing up. Happy Birthday Baby W!!!

    http://batsinthebelfry-katie.blogspot.com/

  24. Whitney says:

    Baby W is so sweet… and I love your way with words!!

    http://www.whitneyawillis.blogspot.com

  25. My little guy just turned 3 and it hit me – I will never have another 3 year old party ever! For some silly reason, that really bummed me out….

  26. Amanda M. says:

    That was so beautiful. I loved soaking it all in. I still do. :)

    I think five was the hardest birthday….because I knew school time was around the corner and we wouldn't have our days all to ourselves anymore.

  27. I have found that all birthdays are a little bittersweet! My baby girl will turn 7 in a few months…she is my only girl and I know the day will soon come that I can't put her in poofy dresses or put giant homemade ribbon bows and flowers in her hair. I also cried when I missed the exact moment when my 2nd baby, Jordan turned 1 ( inwas trying to frantically clean the house for His party) now with #3 only 5mo old I know I atleast have awhile left of him being a baby! I don't know if we will have anymore (that depends on who you ask and on what day!) but I'm sure that Jacobs bray will be just as hard as anyother. As mommies all we want is to see them grow and thrive and turn into the people they were meant to be….but why can't they stay little a little longer!? Take care!

  28. Tiffany says:

    Oh, how I can feel your pain. The third birthday of my first baby was the hardest so far and now my #2, my only son is turning 3 on Friday and I can barely think about it without crying. They still seem like a baby up to that point and then all of a sudden, you have a kid. It's hard for this Momma to handle.

    But now my #3 baby is turning 1 in a few weeks and I am in denial. So I think every one of her birthdays are going to be hard since she is my last baby. Oh, if only they could just stay little a bit longer…

  29. WOW my post had alot of typos!! Sorry! I'm sure u get the point! ( it's hard to type on my iPod and referee 3 kids at the same time)

  30. Madison's Mommy says:

    What a beautifully honest post! My sweet girl turned 6mos yesterday and all I could think about was I am NOT READY FOR YOU TO BE ONE….I am pretty sure that will be a hard one…they just grow up so fast! I feel the same way when she falls asleep in my arms…I will sit there forever just to hold her. I LOVE.LOVE.LOVE your blog!

    Beautiful pictures too ;-)
    XOXO

  31. Bluebird Kisses says:

    Happy birthday baby W!! He is so sweet! my son is only 4mos but I am positive I will be a gigantic mess of tears when he turns 1. I'm trying to soak in as much of his smell and babyness {word?} as I can.

    http://www.bluebirdkisses.com

  32. nicole. says:

    you have an amazing ability of being able to vocalize in words how the little things actually happen.

    my son. every. single. nap… wakes up crying.

    i get it. i totally do. i am a mama who just wants her little to know she is always gonna be there. right there. always.

  33. I do the same thing all the time. I try to memorize and soak in every square millimeter of my little babe when he's cuddled up on me. I can't believe how fast time is going. Like little boy hyper speed. Not ok universe. Slow it down.

    Happy birthday to that beautiful little boy of yours!

  34. M.O.T.B says:

    Three was really difficult for me with my oldest and one with my second. I held Kam and let him sleep in my arms until the clock said 12:01 am.

  35. Ariel @ Dreams To Do says:

    Ahhhh! My Leila and Baby W are sooooooo close in age! She just turned 2 on July 8th. They would make the cutest couple, too! ;-)

    We had a blast on her 2nd b-day! I thought it would be kinda sad for me, but it wasn't. I'm just loving this age! I think turning 1 was a lot harder because she was starting to walk and become a little more independent. But, I guess I only have 2 birthdays so far to choose from – HA! I'm thinking 18 will probably be a tough one… :-)

    Happy Birthday Baby W!

  36. lovely post! happy 2 years to W, and many more :))
    ~Simi ♥

  37. rebecca says:

    ,,,happy birthday "baby w" may you be blessed with many more happy and healthy years to celebrate,,,

  38. Happy Birthday to your sweet baby! He is adorable just like his little momma!

  39. Fran Baity says:

    The hardest birthday is always the next one coming. Each day you see a little less of your sweet baby and you see your son growing up to be strong and capable and amazing. My son is now 8 1/2. I still long for those days when he fit in my arms and happily let me hold on to him for long stretches of time.. Now when I try to cradle him, his feet touch the floor. He wipes off my kisses and laughs. He still requires the same bedtime song I've sang to him for 8 1/2 years. He cooks his own meals now and ties his own shoes. I try to do all the little things I can, that he will let me, because I know that soon, those things will be taken from me as well. Growing up is so bittersweet!

  40. Hespyhesp says:

    This is so sweet. My little guy turned two in April. I spent the night before sobbing about how grown up he is already. I miss the baby, but I love the little person he has become SO, SO much.

    Haeden only started talking the month before he turned two. It was all downhill from there. Now he is in the "repeat" stage. His new favorite phrase is, "What the HECK?!"

    Birthdays are so bittersweet. Enjoy!

  41. Posts like this make me excited to be a Mom someday.

  42. The Lowry's says:

    Such a sweet Letter

  43. Lindsay says:

    This was one of the sweetest things I've read. I haven't experienced a hard birthday with my son…yet. He'll be 3 this year and I think this one might be it. :(

    Happy Birthday baby W!

  44. Shelley says:

    Ahhh, I'm crying :) Reminds me so much of how I feel about my little one right now.

  45. LaynahRose says:

    Posts like this make me melt. Goodness sakes, I am such a sap!

    I love the pictures too, the last two are my fave.

  46. Dear LMM,
    I am recovering from a surgery that has me forbidden to pick up anything over 15lbs, and my 16th month old is 24lbs so this has been one hard week (and I'm suppose to go another two weeks-I don't think so!) Today was the hardest, as I tried to cheat by taking him off his high chair directly to my lap-same level, no lifting see?-but my arms couldn't release him. My eyes weld up with tears. Not being able to hold your child is complete torcher for a mother.

  47. Lexie Loo & Dylan Too says:

    Happy Birthday, Baby W!!!
    My son turning 6 was the hardest for me!

  48. Lexie Loo & Dylan Too says:

    Happy Birthday, Baby W!!!
    My son turning 6 was the hardest for me!

  49. Just this... Alice says:

    Had to get out the tissue for that post. It is wonderful that you are writing to your son this way. He will one day cherish it and shed a tear or two. My son is nearing 40 and I love recalling special memories with him. You are a special Mom and he will grow to appreciate you immensely.

  50. Oh! This brought tears to my eyes. So sweet!

  51. Reyna Ricks says:

    I'm expecting my first baby in october and it's a little guy! reading this made me so excited to experience some of these things soon! this is very sweet!! :)

  52. Reyna Ricks says:

    I'm expecting my first baby in october and it's a little guy! reading this made me so excited to experience some of these things soon! this is very sweet!! :)

  53. Ashley Davis says:

    Geez louise! I did NOT want to cry today, but I couldn't help it after reading this! Such a sweet, sweet letter.

    PS: I'm totally nosy, but I was wondering where you got your bathing suit; it's so cute!

  54. Amy - Counting My Kisses says:

    Such a sweet post! Happy birthday, Baby W!

    I think the second birthday was the hardest for me so far. Little O is so much more independent– she's turning into this incredible little person, right in front of my very eyes. It makes me burst with pride and it also breaks my heart a tiny bit too.

    I love what you said about cuddling Baby W during his nap– don't you just want to breathe them in and memorize their entire being? Such blessings, these little ones.

  55. This is so sweet! Your boy is so beautiful!

  56. dana @ wonder forest says:

    awww :)
    happy birthday baby w!!

    p.s. did you get my email? perfect occasion!
    xo dana
    thewonderforest.com

  57. Hi Ashley! Great letter to your son. I really like your blog!

    I have twin 7 year olds and a 5 year old, all girls. Their first birthdays were hard for me. A happy day but I couldn't believe they weren't babies anymore. Also when my twins turned 7, I was so emotional! 6 at least still sounds little but 7, well that's big girl age. ; )

    Sheri

  58. Mary DK says:

    My younger one is turning 7 tomorrow, I'm really dreading it and I'm already a mess. My baby is not a baby anymore, he's starting 1st grade in August, he can get his own ice cream, his own breakfast and do all kinds of stuff without Mommy's help. Of course he's still needs me sometimes but it's not as often anymore, he's growing up way too fast. Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud & glad that he's been blessed with health & a happy life, it's just a bitter sweet feeling.

  59. Kristyn says:

    Very sweet letter! It is sad how fast these babies grow up. Kaden is 6 months now, which is totally killing me, because I don't want to have to do the pregnancy+ dealing with now 2 kids to get a squishy sweet little newborn again. He was supposed to stay tiny for at least a year so I could get my fill before he grew up. SO to answer your question does a six month birthday count?

  60. Mother of 2, and every birthday is the hardest. They get older faster and faster. And the 2nd one gets older faster than the first. Soak it in; I didn't do it enough the first time around and you'd better believe I've learned from my mistakes!

  61. Anonymous says:

    Such a good mommy you are. :) Are you planning on having any more babies anytime soon?? Baby W's already 2…that is a good age difference for a younger brother or sister. :) I have three children, and they are 5, 3, and 1. – Wendy J.

  62. Laura @ ON{thelaundry}LINE says:

    Aw, congrats on Baby W turning two! My older girl is turning four this month and it's got my throat all choked up and the tears ready to spring out, but the birthday that will REALLY break me is when she turns 5… then she heads off into the great big world and goes to Kindergarten! I guess she is starting preschool in the afternoons three times a week this year so I can get all sobby about that, but Kindergarten just seems so much more Forever. I can't just change my mind and skip classes when it's kindergarten! and 5 is… FIVE!!! The smallest level of Big Kids!

  63. Bree@ 700sqftDesign says:

    Happy Birthday Baby W! Your love for your baby is so special. IT keeps getting better and better, I have a 2/12 year old and a 1 year old I'm in both stages, gotta snuggle with the baby and love to have exciting conversations with the older baby. Being a mommy is such a blessing.

  64. Lil Mama Stuart says:

    SO sweet. I can always picture everything you say with my own baby girl – and that's what makes you a great writer :)

  65. Zsa Zsa says:

    God bless baby W on his bday! Great photos, Ashley!

  66. I am smiling and wiping away the tears at the same time! My little baby boy just turned two and we go through the same thing at nap time…..terrific writing! You definately have a new follower. Bless!

  67. I have a son that just turned 4 and a daughter that just turned 1 and honestly, EVERY single one has been SO hard on me! I just think of how I won't ever get any moments back and I need to cherish every second I can with them because they grow SO fast! Happy birthday baby W!

  68. The Clarks says:

    That's so sweet. When my oldest son turned 5 it was really hard for me (he's 7 now) because I knew it meant he'd be going to school soon.
    Btw, my youngest son (he's 18 months) has that same swim shirt and swim trunks!

  69. Disneyfan says:

    I just recently came across your blog and I L.O.V.E it!!! Thank you for being so honest and straightforward. Oh- and your wavy hair tutorial rocks!!

    Your little boy is beautiful! Kids grow up way too fast. My kids are 8 and 6 this year! Weren't they just little guys?! Where did the time go?!

    Btw, where did you get your swimsuit?! SO cute!

  70. steph nelsen says:

    aw, tears, they are always changing and the kid you know now will be gone soon…always growing a little more. happy, proud, but bittersweet momma moments.

  71. Gallamore West says:

    Awww… this is soooo sweet it has me in tears! He is so stinkin' cute!! I have three boys- 6, 4, and 8 months. The hardest birthday for me was when my oldest turned 5. I couldn't believe half a decade had flown by in the blink of an eye! Now I try to pick him up and get so sad because he's so heavy that I can barely lift him :( Hope your Momma is okay :)
    xo,
    Laurie @ Gallamore West

  72. Staci @ Life's Sweeter with Chocolate says:

    This totally cracks me up! My 15 month old just learned the word trash and says it ALL the time!! haha I thought it was so strange that that was one of his fav words but i guess it's not that out there. haha

  73. hotpants™ says:

    My son turning 5 was hard. We won't talk about the one that's coming next. I'm ignoring it.

  74. ~*~Renee~*~ says:

    this is really sweet. i sat here crying as i read it… when i was pregnant with my daughter (who will be 3 in december) i got the book "guess how much i love you" i used to read it to my tummy every day. and i would cry at the last page when it says "i love you to the moon and back." i still cant read it without crying haha and the fact im not the only one that says it is nice. congrats to your little man. hes adorable!

  75. Expertmom says:

    I don't know who is the sweetest, you or your adorable son! Google took me here, thanks for the smiles :-)

  76. I love this blog. You capture moments so perfectly. My hardest so far was 5. It is a pretty big deal. Maybe it was the whole year. We started off with emergency heart surgery in Feb so now we compare him to Iron man, which of course lead to a super hero birthday party in March and now we are at the first days of Kindergarten. It just amazing as you step back and realize how fast they really do grow up. (: I love your blog!

  77. Ashley,
    You are so darling. I love these letters to baby W. I hope when I have kids that I will still love blogging/journaling as much as I do now. It will be so awesome for Wesley to read these when he gets older, and see what a momma’s love is all about. =)

  78. I am so happy that I found your blog! I am always looking for good blogs by other mommys that are just trying to be the best mommas they can be. This will definitely be on my daily reading list. Thanks for all your candid honesty!:) P.S. This is the sweetest post ever.

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