love

Our Love Story: Part 12, Through Ben’s Eyes


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Here’s the thing about this love story of ours. It’s long. And drawn out. And mushy gushy. And even a bit cheesy. But it’s true. And I’ve decided to take my time writing it, capturing all the special details of those moments I never want to forget. So if mushy-gushy, cheesy love stories aren’t your thing, I totally get that. Just know that I’m writing this as a gift—to my family, and my children, and their children—and also, for Ben and me—so that on those days when the kids are screaming, the laundry is overflowing and the bills are rolling in…on those days when it all just seems so hard, we’ll have this to remind us of those first moments when we fell in love. And if sappy, detail ridden love stories are your thing, well then you’ve come to the right place. All previous chapters can be found here.

***

Through Ben’s eyes:

I heard her front door close as I made my way down the stairs and through the apartment courtyard. I looked up just in time to see the light turn off through her front window.

I lingered on the bottom step a moment too long.
My mind was telling me to keep walking,
but my heart wanted to run back up the stairs,
open the front door,
wrap my arms around her waist and tell her I wasn’t getting on that plane tomorrow.

I just needed more time.
More time with her.
More time to figure out these feelings in my heart.

But that wasn’t an option,
so I let my foot leave that bottom step and I walked to my car with resolve.
This would be it.
After tomorrow…
after we hold hands in the airport,
after an inevitable tearful goodbye…
and after one more long kiss…
after that…we’ll be done.

***

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It was already 1:30 as my brother turned down the street that led to the tiny Santa Barbara airport.  We were running late and I knew that Ashley would be expecting my call.

Over the last week I had kept her waiting too many times.
I couldn’t keep her waiting again.
Not now.
Not today.
Not on our last day.

As Matt pulled the car into a spot near the entrance, I stared at the cell phone resting in the middle console—overcome with the urge to grab it and tell Ashley to come right away.

Matt: Well, we’re here.
Ben: Thanks man. I had a great time.  Tell Lyndsi I said bye and I love her.
Matt: Oh this isn’t goodbye Jammers. I’m going to go in with you.

My heart started beating faster.
This wasn’t the plan.

Ben: Oh, that’s okay. You can get back to work. I know you’re busy.
Matt: Not too busy to hang with you for a bit longer.

Matt was the oldest of my siblings.
He was our protector, our advocate and our security blanket.
The brother who paved the way so we could anxiously follow in his footsteps.
And even now, as adults,
I could see he felt responsible for my well-being,
for my safety,
and perhaps in some small way,
for my happiness.

I was silent as I pulled my suitcase from the trunk and began walking towards the entrance.  My eyes opened wide as we passed a car in the front parking spot with a license plate frame that read: Serendipity.

It was a sign. Wasn’t it?

I glanced at the clock on the wall just as we entered the lobby.
1:39
My final moments with her were ticking by.

The Santa Barbara airport was small enough that those not flying could still sit with family members waiting to board without having to going through security. So of course, that’s what Matt did.

I watched him sitting 20 yards away,
twirling his cell phone in his hand while I waited in line.
This was torture.
1:52

I checked in with the airline, went through security, then bought a yellow Gatorade from a nearby kiosk and took a seat next to Matt.
2:08

Ben: Well.
Matt: Well.
Ben: I’ll see you soon? Tell Lyndsi thanks.
Matt: Yeah, I guess I should get going. Love you man. Don’t be a stranger…and…just try to focus on your career for a little while, ya know?
Ben: I know. I know.
I knew what he was trying to say.

We hugged tightly and I watched as he walked away.

Finally.
He was leaving.
I looked at the clock again.
2:10
My flight was taking off in 20 minutes.
And I would be boarding any second now.

I looked out the window and watched Matt get into his car,
realizing only then that he had taken his phone with him.
I was kicking myself for not owning a cell phone.
I spotted a pay phone just across the way–that would have to do.

I dug some coins from my backpack and rushed over to call Ashley.
Out of service. From the look of it, these payphones hadn’t been used in years.

I sat back down in my seat, defeated.
Glancing around, I noticed all of my neighbors tapping away on their cell phones.
I suppose I could ask someone to borrow one for a moment.
Surely someone would let me make a local call.

Ben: Hi there, would anyone mind if I borrowed their phone to make a local call? It will only take a minute.

Silence.
Followed by more silence.
I even watched as a couple people casually slid their phones into their bags, out of my view.
In that moment, I was that guy.
The weird stranger who wanted to borrow your cell phone and make a call to who-knows-where.
I couldn’t blame them for ignoring me. But I was desperate.

Speaker: Now boarding, direct flight to Denver, Colorado.

My heart dropped.
Well…
This was it.

Clearly, there would be no phone call.
There would be no final good bye.
No embrace.
No one last kiss.

I turned over my shoulder one more time as I handed my ticket over and prepared to board the plane…hoping to see her walking towards the airport for our final goodbye.  But I was the last flight leaving this terminal for the day and I could see the security guard already putting a chain lock around the entrance doors.

She wasn’t coming.
I took one last glimpse at that car parked in the front spot—the car with the serendipity license plate—and then I stepped onto the tarmac, with resolve in my stride once again.

This was over.
Starting now.

***

I was the last to board the plane and I took my seat at the very front, just steps from the entrance.
A middle aged woman with light brown, curly hair was seated next to me. She had just finished shoving her oversized purse under the seat when I sat down.

Lady: Hi, I’m Meg.
And then she smiled.
Ben: I’m Ben.  Nice to meet you.
I forced a smile back. I was distracted.

I clipped my seatbelt and then immediately slid open the shade on my window…
taking a fleeting glance at the tarmac–half expecting to see Ashley skipping toward the plane with arms wide open, begging me to stay for another day.  But there was no Ashley, only a flight attendant jogging toward the stairs that led to the plane door. Frustrated, I quickly shut the shade and started anxiously peeling the label off my Gatorade bottle.

Even though it was less than romantic, I would take my brothers advice—focus on work, get back to the real world, prepare for my future. I ignored the gaze of the woman sitting next to me as I spoke to myself under my breath.

This was a one week thing Ben. This can’t be real. You have to move on now.

Even as I spoke the words to myself, I knew I didn’t want them to be true.
I wanted this to be the exception.
I didn’t want to feel angry, or frustrated, or…heartbroken.
I didn’t want to feel how I was feeling now.
I wanted to feel alive.
I wanted to feel her hand in mine.
And I wanted to feel those butterflies again.

I was in the middle of my self-peptalk as I watched a flight attendant begin to shut the hatch.

WAIT!

My head shot up just in time to see an arm fly through the closing hatch door.
The flight attendant I saw jogging down the tarmac moments earlier was not pushing her way through the door with a piece of paper clutched in her hand. She was out of breath.

Wait. I have a message to deliver to Ben Stock.

The other flight attendant grabbed the microphone and made an announcement just a few feet from where I was sitting:

Flight Attendant: We have a message for Ben Stock. Ben Stock, report to the front of the aircraft. 

I just stared ahead. Confused.

Meg: Isn’t that you?
The lady sitting next to me was trying to get my attention.
Meg: Isn’t that you?
She repeated herself and motioned towards the flight attendant.
Ben: Oh yeah, you’re right.

I raised my hand.
Ben: I’m Ben Stock.

She held the paper out and I reached for it.
I tried to pull it away but she held tighter, until I raised my eyes to meet hers.
Then she gave me a wink and a big smile.
Flight Attendant: She must be special.
I stared back, still confused, as I started to unfold the paper to reveal the note written inside:

Ben,
Came to say I’ll miss you, not goodbye! I feel like Ross and Rachael.
love always, ashley

And just like that, the butterflies were flying circles around my stomach once again. 
This wasn’t over. It was just beginning.

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40 Comments

  • Reply
    Nazzia
    June 25, 2013 at 7:44 am

    Its totally like a movie, except you guys are for real!
    You guys so make me believe that true love—the out-of-this-world, made-for-each-other, to-the-moon-and-back—-kinda love does exist.

  • Reply
    shona
    June 25, 2013 at 8:08 am

    I love this, I love every bit … I even love that I know it will be months before I get to read the next part of this beautiful story and the anticipation make it that much sweeter !
    the best love storys are the ones that really happened ! Ross and Rachel moments included !

    forever inspired x

  • Reply
    Caroline
    June 25, 2013 at 10:06 am

    The license plate frame was definitely a sign! 🙂

  • Reply
    Ashley
    June 25, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Amazing. Simply amazing.

  • Reply
    Sarrilly
    June 25, 2013 at 11:37 am

    I love it! So cool to hear Ben’s perspective too 🙂 Thanks for the quick update…soo excited to read what happens next!!!!

  • Reply
    M.
    June 25, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    keep them coming! Not so long of a wait next time 🙂

  • Reply
    Jenn
    June 25, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    This is just beautiful. <3

  • Reply
    Melissa
    June 25, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    Love love love this! More more more please!

  • Reply
    Kati
    June 25, 2013 at 4:17 pm

    Keep them coming!! I LOVE these! Don’t make us wait so long…….

  • Reply
    Kirsten
    June 25, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Aww, now I’m all teary eyed! <3

  • Reply
    Charlotte
    June 25, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    This has been the best installment so far! I feel like I’m watching a movie!

  • Reply
    Jessica
    June 25, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Once again you have done it 🙂 I get engrossed so quickly, and then before I know it, it’s over. Thank you for spoiling us with two installments at once!

  • Reply
    Sasha
    June 25, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Seriously?! It’s too good! You have to make a girl baby! Your boys may appreciate the story when they’re older, but a daughter?! She will be the one to tell and re-tell it!

  • Reply
    Megan
    June 25, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    This is such a great story!! I check your blog daily for updates. You two are adorable. Thanks for sharing your sweet story with us. Like comments above I am totally engrossed in your story.

  • Reply
    Sarah
    June 25, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    I’ve been following for a while waiting to see how this story plays out! Obviously, you are married. But it’s so nice to see how it all unfolded…even though “You got ON the plane.” 🙂

  • Reply
    elise
    June 25, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Awwwwh Ross and Rachel! Seriously though. Loved hearing this one from his perspective.

  • Reply
    Danielle
    June 25, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    OMG! That’s it. I have no other words.

  • Reply
    misty
    June 25, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    thats all i got.

    xoxo, Misty

    • Reply
      misty
      June 25, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      The other part of my comment didnt show up. 🙁

      • Reply
        misty
        June 25, 2013 at 9:34 pm

        It should have read:

        (tears), thats all i got.

  • Reply
    Shirley
    June 25, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    It would be great that some day this will be a movie, the true story. I am sure you could sell this to someone to turn it into a movie. Think about it. I would pay to see this movie. Thanks for sharing and can’t wait to see the next addition. Please don’t wait too long as I am 70 and I want to be around for the next installment, LOL

    • Reply
      brenda
      June 25, 2013 at 11:23 pm

      I am with Shirley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply
    Stacey
    June 26, 2013 at 1:12 am

    Such a sweet story! You should post the rest over the summer:) I just started following your blog and IG accounts. You are an inspiration. I love your style, your writing and the fact that you pour your heart out on here. I have read almost every post over the past week and can relate on so many levels. Keep up the great work! It also helps Serendipity is my 2nd fave, behind Notting Hill. Kids who grew up in the 90s, I suppose! haha!

  • Reply
    Siobhan
    June 26, 2013 at 5:57 am

    My hubby ran out of gas to get my attention, and then we find out that the guy that baptized me was good friends with my now hubby. Oh and he’s the reason my hubby went on a mission (he was one of those guys that everyone looks up to) and I got baptized while he was on his mission. Its like God new that his future wife needed to be baptized, and ready for him to meet. God new that he had to get my attention by running out of gas with his wallet forgotten on the kitchen counter 45mins away. Talk about serendipity. I love that real love stories still happen. We just celebrated 10yrs in April and have 3 kiddos!

  • Reply
    McKenzie @ Girl Loves Glam
    June 26, 2013 at 6:57 am

    Yay! The love story continues! I love hearing Ben’s side of the story.

  • Reply
    Kayla Lawrence
    June 26, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    This gave me the chills! And of course gave me a huge smile as I read the last part! I CAN’T WAIT for the next part!! 🙂

  • Reply
    Danielle
    June 26, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    I’m reading this at work and it made me tear up!!! So sweet 🙂 Even though I know how it ends, I can’t wait for the next part!

  • Reply
    Anna
    June 26, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Absolute Love. Nothing better. You’re writing is totally capturing. And so heartfelt. Can’t wait for more!

  • Reply
    Alex
    June 27, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    I am obsessed! I just started reading from the beginning and I can’t get enough! Please post more soon! 🙂

  • Reply
    Nikki
    June 28, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Omg. Stop it. I’m literally crying. I love you two. Please don’t keep us waiting for the next chapter! I’ve checked your blog every day hoping to see the next chapter! 🙂 I loved every second of this! Even though I know this ended with a happy ending, I can’t help but love how your love story began! Your sons are SO lucky to have two awesome parents, with a love to last a lifetime!

  • Reply
    Celeste Farro
    July 3, 2013 at 12:33 am

    This is such a lovely story! I have been in that same situation when you plan for something to happen so bad and then it doesn’t and it leaves you soo frustrated!
    I’m so happy that you went looking for him even though there was no phone call… how did you manage to make them give a note to Ben anyway??? you have to let us know your perspective please!!! I’m dying to hear it 🙂

  • Reply
    Tracy
    July 5, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    you guys are amazing, I LOVE that Ben told this part of the story and the best part is that he felt the same way you did. So wait?? You were at the airport? Did you just miss him by a few minutes? I can’t wait to hear more. You are captivating and I love everything you write! I am SO glad that I stumbled across your blog from your hair tutorial. XX

  • Reply
    Courtney
    July 6, 2013 at 8:05 am

    Holy cow! I just happened upon your blog and started reading your “love story” and boy were you right about it being like a movie! I am 17 and feel like I am reading an amazing novel about an impeccable love story! Your writing is incredible, Ashley, and not to mention your dream of a love story! It truly warms my heart to read about such an inspirational love story. I feel like I am waiting for the next book in a series as I wait for the next part to your love story! Keep em coming because I could read it all day long. Thank you so much for sharing such an incredible “novel”. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jenna
    July 24, 2013 at 2:35 am

    Will one of you PLEASE write a book?! I could read these posts all day long!

  • Reply
    tejae
    July 25, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    beautiful. I love that you two are still two big love birds!! just like me and my honey..lovely reading your story. Thanks for sharing, it’s such a treat to read. 🙂

  • Reply
    Tara
    July 26, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    Ash,
    I just can’t explain how incredibly amazing this story is. And to hear it from his side right after reading yours…. There just aren’t words for this kind of thing. It’s love. It’s the love EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this earth longs for. And you have it. You both do.
    Please never stop writing it. And please make it into a book to publish so that every person can hold onto the hope that real love does exist.
    The world needs that. At least I do.

    You are incredible.

    Xo, Tara

  • Reply
    Michelle
    July 30, 2013 at 7:44 am

    absolute best 🙂

  • Reply
    Victoria
    April 9, 2015 at 8:55 am

    Is this the end of it?! I need more!

  • Reply
    Erica
    June 20, 2015 at 8:42 am

    I can’t even remember how and why I fell upon your blog, but it is an inspiration to true romance. When I first started reading the story I had my very first crush on the new guy in my agency (please note I’m 33, lol). This just made my guessing about what could be hopeful. I stopped reading and hadn’t had a chance in months to finish. In those months, I found out he was “taken” and I didn’t have a shot from a fellow coworker. Randomly coming across this blog again and finally reading it to the end just gave me a boost of hope on love. I am such a secret romantic and I always wanted to believe there were real stories like this in the world. Today you have made me smile. Thank you for sharing and thank you for the hope.

    Hopeless Romantic Erica from DC

  • Reply
    Amy
    August 29, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    Hey Ashley, do you think you will write another part of your love story? I have been checking back here for years just hoping!!!

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