Momma Instincts

After Wesley was born I remember Ben and I always being filled with eager anticipation for our new baby boy to achieve his next milestone.  He was our first, and as a result we were overcome with excitement at the thought of watching him experience all his “firsts”.

His first bath.
First tooth.
First giggle.
First steps.
And so on.

However, whenever these milestones arrived, I remember that all too often I was a bundle of nerves. I remember having a smile on my face while simultaneously searching the internet about his latest milestone to make sure everything was going as it should.

Should he be teething this early?
Why hasn’t he rolled over yet?
Oh no, did I give him too much rice cereal on his first try?

I felt like I was always messing up.
Always falling short of the expectations of the inter-webs.
Falling short of some ridiculous idea of perfection I had created in my mind.

I was Googling.
And panicking.
And comparing.
When I should have been trusting my instincts.
When I should have been listening to my Momma gut.

Because despite her young years, that Momma-gut is one wise cookie.
And she’ll steer you in the right direction quicker that a Yahoo message board.
That’s something I’ve learned the second go around.

So although Sawyer’s “first rice cereal” experience was all smiles at first…
When it ended it tormented crying and gas all night long,
I decided to trust my gut.
Without panicking.
His little tummy just isn’t ready quite yet.
And I don’t need a book to tell me that.

Soon enough my little man, soon enough.
We’re in no rush this time around.

What Momma-Instincts have you trusted lately?


 

Ashley Stock
I'm Ashley. Sometimes I craft, occasionally I cook, everyday I write, and I'm always Momma. This is my blog. I keep it real while still seeing the rainbows and butterflies in all of life's lessons.
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock

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Comments

  1. That my kindergartner needs to stay a kindergartner and we shouldn’t worry about being able to read first grade level words. It’s tough though. The overachiever in me is having a hard time.
    Ps: Sawyer is a doll face!
    Xoxo
    Megan

  2. He’s so cute! I’m 37 weeks today with a baby girl and SO nervous! I’m currently sitting in a warm tub trying to time horrible back cramps/abdominal cramps (not so successful). Love your blog, thanks for the post. I tend to google everything and read through feeds when I should listen to my gut! Your post about the Momma instinct is great and I hope I can remember to remember to use my momma gut feeling. Merry Christmas! :)

  3. What adorable boys. You are so right…I learned with my second that I DID know I what I was doing with the first! It makes everything so much more enjoyable and peaceful…and in the moment. Because you aren’t worried or doubting. I wish every first-time mom could trust those instincts and be confident!

  4. Amanda Haulk says:

    That happened to my daughter the fist time we tried rice cereal, which was also the last time. She was only 4 months, I quit the rice and didn’t start giving her any kind baby food again until 6 months old. I wasn’t going to put her (and myself) through that again. I felt so horrible. So despite her doctor telling me to give it a try, I would smile and nod, and then go home and do what I felt comfortable with doing.

  5. Ashley, You have made another cutie, he is gorgeous!!

    I think every Mom thinks the same way you have described at one point or another. You love those boys with every inch of your being and that’s all they need at the end of the day.

    Happy Holidays
    Warmly,
    Melissa

  6. Ashley, you have such beautiful boys! I am so glad you’re back on the blog. The new house looks great. This post resonates with all mothers; we too have to find our way while our little men find theirs. :)

  7. I learned, pretty quickly, that there are always people who think completely the opposite from what I think myself. I also learned that there are always people, on the internet, at schools, in the neighbourhood, who are very willing to ventilate those opinions… loudly.

    And then I learned to indeed just trust my gut. I read about what I think I need to know. About what to feed my children, especially, and about their health and their development. I ask advice when I need it, but only from people I really trust. And I know I am doing the best I can.

    I love them and take care of them. And I am doing mighty fine. Just as you are.

  8. OH MY! Those beautiful big blue eyes!

  9. Oh gosh those eyes are going to be future heart breakers! I totally agree, sometimes it’s hard not to compare with what they “should” be doing. But in the end you know your kid best! My kid didn’t eat any food until 8 months, he just wasn’t ready, and even now at almost 2 (on Christmas, sniff, sniff) he still prefers the veggies I puree for him then the real deal. I keep reminding myself, you never see a kindergartner eating pureed food still…and little by little, day by day, it gets slightly better. I’m looking forward to the day we can go to any restaurant and he’ll eat what they serve there, instead of having to pack our own food for him. He turned down a cookie last night, what’s a mom to do?! haha.

  10. His little nose and that cute fluff of hair – he is precious. And it’s so good to know that trusting your Momma gut is the way to go. The husband and I want to start trying to have kids in the next few years, and although I’m excited, a big part of me is terrified, too! There will me much googling I’m sure. So it’s nice to read things like this to help me calm down and know that I’m not alone and that many mothers out there go through and will go through this, too.

  11. Love his hair!

  12. Thankfully there was no Google with my first child! But I did find myself always wanting things to be perfect. It was stressful for all of us! My second child was born 11 years later after years and years of trying. I have enjoyed every single moment so much more. I don’t stress if he doesn’t do things at exactly the “right” time because he does things at the perfect time for him! Mommy gut is a real thing, we just know. I to wish every first time Mother would have the confidence to trust in that!

  13. OMG, he is just adorable!!! Looks like his big brother. :)

    xoxo, Misty

  14. I can’t believe how much they both look like each other. Those blue eyes will bring many girls, so watch out. Of course they get it from mommy and daddy. Give them a big hug and a kiss from me.

  15. I’m newish to your blog and this is my first time commenting. I have to say 1) Your baby is adorable! And 2) I’m a firm believer in trusting instincts. My son was trying out a communication device yesterday at school (he’s nonverbal) and he just wasn’t participating. With a nonverbal child, instincts are essential. My momma instincts told me he needed to be held in order to respond. And it worked. Momma Instincts for the win!

  16. Welcome back! Sawyer is getting so big. :) My Mama gut has reminded me with our 17 yr old senior, that there is a plan in place that was meant just for him. This is his journey not mine. I am here to watch and support, not control. Take Care :) Kashoan

  17. Sawyer is so cute! I can’t believe how much he looks like his big brother! You’re doing great!

  18. always trust your momma instincts!! they are in fact the best way to raise your children! ;)
    the sweet life of a southern wife

  19. Wendy Orme says:

    Sawyer is so adorable! Love that hair and the dimples! You’re a great Momma!

  20. That my 8 year old son should hear from me about the horrible incident in CT so I could say it right, gently, and in as little detail as possible, that way when he did hear whispers at school he wouldn’t be quite so curious. To lower my expectations of my 3 year old daughter. That if I paint her nails and wants to get up and play little people with nails it is ok. She will know that she can still be fancy and pretty and beautiful while she gets down and dirty with her toys. Btw, you sure make handsome babies, those blue eyes and dimples are going to make him quite the ladies man.

  21. Oh those message boards… they sure do get a new momma in trouble!! I am a first time mom to a boy born July 13th and despite being a nurse, I often feel like I have no idea what I’m doing even though I totally know better! We didn’t give him rice cereal, but we gave him oatmeal first around 5 months, which he loved, yet it also resulted in a HUGE awful bumpy & shiny rash all over his face! No more oatmeal I guess :-)

  22. What a sweet little guy!! Beautiful eyes!!

  23. This post makes me smile… I’m 5 months pregnant and I’m already the same way that you were with your first. I assume everything I’m doing is probably wrong already. Why?! I totally understand what you’re saying and it’s so good to read it in someone else’s words! Thank you for that! I’m beginning to wish that you were my next door neighbor… Until then… I’ll keep reading ;) You’re a great, great person!

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