After the Surgery

You can read about why Lil W needed surgery here.

Friday was Lil W’s post-surgery 10 day check up.
It actually feels more like a year has passed since he had his adenoids removed,
because that’s the kind of stressful week we had following his surgery.

For those who have been asking how the surgery went, here goes:
Thursday night we put Lil W to bed at about 9 and waited reluctantly for his first awakening.
You see, when Lil W wakes up (which is often), one of the few things that gets him to go back to sleep is giving him a drink.
But…he had to fast before the surgery–which meant no food or liquid.

Sure enough, Ben spent the entire night before his surgery awake, consoling his endless sobs.
At about 3am he finally fell into a deep sleep. We woke him up at 6 am, and put him directly in the car in his jammies–bed head and all.

We arrived at the surgical center and per our doctors suggestion we sat Lil W down and did our best to explain to him what was about to happen in language he could understand.

Me: You know Mommy  and Daddy love you so so much, right. And we want you to be able to sleep better. Well, today you are going to see Dr. Birns–you know, the guy who talks like Donald Duck.  Dr. Birns is going to take you from Mommy and Daddy for a little bit to help make you feel all better. And when he’s done, you will have a very sore throat…It will feel owwweee, but you can have lots and lots and lots of ice cream and popsicles.

Lil W: Ice Cream?

Me: Yep, ice cream!

Shortly after our little pep-talk, we were able to take Lil W back to pre-op where we waited nervously for the doctor to come take our baby away. Dr. Birns greeted us, gave Lil W a fist bump and a high five and then hauled our screaming toddler off into the surgical room.

On the outside, I was composed. On the inside, I was a wreck.

The next 42 minutes felt like an eternity.
I twiddled my thumbs, mindlessly searched through Instagram, and stared at the wall.

I never felt more relief in my life, than when Dr. Birns entered the room with a smile on his face.
I knew, from the look in his eyes, that everything went as planned.
I wondered if they taught him to smile like that that in medical school…

The doctor told us the surgery was successful, that Lil W was in post-op, and that we should expect him to be very cranky when he awoke.

We headed back to post-op and my heart hit the floor when I heard his shrieking cries from around the corner.
He had woken up and we weren’t there holding him.

We sprinted to his bedside, where he was choking on his own sobs and flailing uncontrollably.
Our doctor warned us that some younger children have this reaction to the anesthesia, but nothing could have prepared me for what Lil W was going through.

Rather than cuddling our toddler, we spent the next 90 minutes restraining him…stopping him from pulling out his IV and ripping off his bandages.  Eventually he was given morphine and he drifted into a restless sleep. While he slept, his heart rate and breathing stabilized and he was cleared to go home.

The nurse then attempted to remove his IV while he slept.
Fail.
He awoke with even louder and more hysterical fits of screaming, while it took three nurses to restrain him and remove the IV from his tiny foot.

Apparently, they had multiple failed attempts at putting the IV in his arm/hand, so it ended up in his foot.
This broke my heart.


With the IV removed and his vitals checked out, we were clear to go home.
We  strapped Lil W in his carseat, turned on his favorite movie (Curious George), and I buckled in next to him for the 20 minute drive home.
Miraculously, I hadn’t cried.
I had kept my cool.
Appeared calm.
In control, even.

But as Ben drove home, and the gravity of what we had just endured began to set in, the room began to spin.
I started to see black spots in my eyes.
And a thin layer of sweat emerged on my forehead  and on the back of my neck.

Me: Pull over. Pull over.
Ben: Now?
Me: Yeeeeesss.

Ben hurried from the fast lane onto the shoulder of the road, where I proceeded to jump out and heave my emotions into a pile on the side of the freeway.
When I was done, I took a deep breath, pulled myself together, got back in the car and mentally prepared myself for the remainder of Lil W’s recovery.

The next week was hell. Literally.
Lil W ended up needing only his adenoids removed (not tonsils)–which is meant to be a rather speedy and less painful recovery.
But our little guy was acting as if he had had his legs amputated.
Surely this was not a typical response???
We called our doctor, who told us that unfortunately some children have this reaction, and reminded us that everyone heals differently.

Lil W wouldn’t eat.
Wouldn’t drink.
Wouldn’t swallow his medicine.
And he screamed. All. Day. Long.

The day we brought him home from surgery, he slept for nearly 10 hours.


But after that, he wouldn’t sleep for a week.
No naps.
He went to bed at 11:00 p.m. kicking and screaming.
He woke up literally every 20 minutes with hysterical and inconsolable cries.
The only thing that calmed him down was driving…at 3 a.m.
But even then, he didn’t sleep…
He was a hyperactive, aggressive, emotional and angry walking-zombie.
I didn’t even recognize him as my son.

At this point, I was crying. Everyday. Multiple times a day.
Hysterical crying. Tears of fear–fear that I had made the wrong decision.
Fear that we would never get our happy little boy back.
That he would remain forever angry, and forever afraid of sleep time.

By the following Saturday, we had decided it was time to get out.
Get out of the house, do something to cheer ourselves up, escape all the signs of sickness and recovery that were around us.
We knew it was risky, but we packed up Lil W and drove to the Santa Barbara Zoo.

And on the way, a miracle occurred.
He fell asleep.
And when we arrived at the zoo an hour later, and transferred him into his stroller…he stayed asleep.
And after an hour of walking around the zoo, he continued to sleep.
Two and a half hours into his nap, he woke up not with his usual bursts of screaming…but with a smile on his face saying “Elephant”.
He knew where we were and he was happy.

The next two hours were spent talking to the giraffes and elephants,
giggling at the penguins, and squealing with excitement at the lions and tigers.
As we loaded him up in the car to head home, he gave us his dimpled smile and said,
“tank you Momma, tank you Dadda”.
And with tears in my eyes I replied,
“welcome back baby”. 

Lil W didn’t stop talking the entire hour drive home.
Fun with tigers.
Fun with finding-nemos (his word for flamingos).
Fun with popcorn.

Later that evening, Lil W ate his first real meal since the surgery.
He even went to bed without a fight.
And although he didn’t come close to sleeping through the night, when he did wake up, it was with minimal tears and he fell back asleep rather quickly.
The sleep apnea–GONE.
The snoring–GONE.
The uncontrollable sweating–GONE.

Our baby was on his way to a real recovery, and a normal life.

At our follow up appointment, the doctor confirmed that in VERY rare circumstances, some children experience extreme emotional trauma from the surgery.
They can become untrusting, scarred and even angry.
They experience separation anxiety at the thought of being taken away from those they love.
And they can even have extreme nightmares–which is what the doctor believes Lil W was experiencing that dreadful week following the surgery.

This week Lil W is back to his old self.
Taking naps. Going to bed without argument. Smiling, laughing and playing.
He still wakes up in the middle of the night out of habit, but as each night passes his wakings become less frequent.
There is hope, and we see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And every day that light gets brighter.
And we get happier.

Thank you for all your prayers.
They brought our family much comfort when we needed it most.
Love you all!

Ashley Stock
I'm Ashley. Sometimes I craft, occasionally I cook, everyday I write, and I'm always Momma. This is my blog. I keep it real while still seeing the rainbows and butterflies in all of life's lessons.
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock
Ashley Stock

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Comments

  1. Oh wow. Poor kid. Poor parents. I guess we never really know how someone will react to surgery. So sorry you all had to go through that, but very thankful it all turned out okay. Seems like he just needed to know that when he woke up you guys would be there. Reading that broke my heart too.

  2. Oh ash what a nightmare you have been thru! I miss you guys
    Terribly and am so glad things went ok for wes! Calling you this week! Xoxo

  3. SO glad to hear he is all better and sleeping well. Sounds like it was a difficult journey but it was worth it. Thank God for those Elephants!

  4. Oh Ashley, so glad he is okay now, and getting better. When your child has surgery it is always so tough. My boy has had 5 and he’s only 3. Each time it’s so draining on us and him. But when the surgeries make them feel better it becomes very much worth all of the anxiety and worrying. I definitely will keep you all in my prayers.

  5. Ashley, I am so sorry that you and your family had to go through this. The picture of baby W’s hand broke my heart. I cant imagine what this must have been like for him. You are so strong for trying to hold it together- you are such a good momma and I am so happy lil w is back to normal. Here’s to many, many nights of peaceful nights for your little man.

    Much love,
    kendall
    Songbirdsandbuttons.blogspot.com

  6. Ashley. I am so excited for you! I can’t even tell you!

    I have twin daughters. Sleep was rough for us for a long time—-I felt SO out of control. When we finally were at a place where I could just lay them down, and they would sleep—-peacefully—–for long stretches of time! There’s such an indescribable freedom that comes with that! I can’t wait for you to get there! I can’t wait for W to get there! It changes everything! Your marriage, your parenting, your LIFE! It’s like an elephant stands up after sitting on your chest.

    Can’t wait to hear about it!! :)

  7. Of course it couldn’t have been easy for you guys. Yeesh!

  8. That was so hard to read. I had a lump in my throat the entire time. I cannot even imagine how hard that was for you guys to go through and I’m so sorry for you that it was such a terrible recovery!! Your poor baby. But so happy to hear that he’s doing so great now, what a definite answer to prayer! xoxo

  9. That story made my heart sad. I even cried. I have a little boy, he is 15 months, I couldn’t imagine having to go through what you guys did, and how painful it would be. But someone once told me, that when we cry because we are feeling someone elses pain… we just may be absorbing a little bit of it for them…. and I like that.

  10. This broke my heart. I couldn’t imagine going through this as a parent. I hope he continues to do better and eventually sleep through the night. You totally need some peaceful nights around there before baby boy #2 comes. Wishing you all the best! You are such an inspiration to me, you are amazing. Miss you!

    xo-Amanda

    http://eleven19.blogspot.com

  11. oh ashley you are all such champs. that had to be such a crushing time.
    wilder broke (stress fracture) his leg when he was around 2 years old.
    he had to have a bone scan and seeing him “go under” was horrible.
    what a relief you are now seeing the light at the end of a long, seemingly endless tunnel.
    high five from one momma to another!

  12. This broke my heart! I couldn’t imagine having to go through this with one of my kids. I hope he continues to do better and eventually starts sleeping through the night. You totally need some peaceful nights around there before baby boy #2 comes! Wishing you the best. You are an inspiration to me, you are amazing! Miss you!

    xo-Amanda

    http://eleven19.blogspot.com

  13. I love reading the things you write. You have a way of making all the things you are writing about real to the rest of us. My heart hurts for all that you had to go through with the surgery. So far, I have made it as a parent for almost 9 years and I have yet to have to put one under the knife. I CAN’T IMAGINE what it would feel like. I’m so glad for you and that you are finding your little W back to his usual self!

  14. that literally made me sick to my stomach to read, that broke my heart! the entire time my heart was racing! i am so glad he’s better and sleeping well!! i can’t even imagine how hard that must have been, especially with your pregnant hormones so shocked you didn’t cry!! i wish nothing but the best for all of you! xo

  15. *hugs* I can’t imagine what you had to go through. :/ Sorry it was so hard on all of you. I have a little man too, so this was a very hard blog post to read. I had to finish reading to make sure he’s okay! So glad he is. You did the right thing, LMM. :)

  16. I’m so glad to know he’s doing well now. It’s such a traumatic experience for parent and child when they have to have surgery. Our son was 8 before we realized he definitely needed the surgery to remove tonsils and adenoids. The sleeping now is wonderful, no snoring and waking up every few hours from sleep apnea. Even though the surgery was hard the result was so worth it as you well know.

  17. what an ordeal for you all.Glad it,s over.I have sleep apnea and had never heard of it until I was diagnosed.He is a beautiful little boy .I hope the rest of his life will be a lot smoother.God be with you all.

  18. Im so sorry you had to go thru that. My daughter had the same reaction to anesthesia for tonsils at about the same age. She had night terrors for about a week after her surgery and then one day-normal again. It’s scary. Glad all went well and he is happy and healthy :)

  19. Ashley I’m so glad that the surgery went well and that things are looking better for you guys! We’ll keep you in our prayers :)

  20. You have such a handsome family! I am sorry that you had to go through such a stressful time – I can’t imagine what it’s like knowing that your child is unhappy and there is nothing you can do about it.
    We recently learned that our 18month old son needs surgery next month for a hernia – a communicating hydrocele to be specific. As the surgeon pointed out, it is a very simple, common surgery for them but there is no simple surgery for parents. I think the anesthesia is what scares me the most.
    I am happy that your little guy is feeling better and send along my best wishes for your son – and for his parents! :)

  21. I have been waiting for you to post Lil W’s status. I’ve been thinking about you a lot this week – and, I know, we have never even met! :) So sorry he had such a struggle through the recovery but I’m sure his smiles and giggles at the zoo just made you feel like you were on top of the world after the week you have had (I know I did once I made it to that part in the story). Praying for continued healing and that his sleeping becomes more comforting, to him and to you! :)

  22. I am so glad to hear he is doing better! You are such a strong mama, and that little boy is so lucky to have you.

  23. Hugs!!!
    You are stronger than you realize :-) you made it and I’m so happy that things will be better now.
    “for when I’m weak you make me strong”

  24. Good thinking to go to the zoo. Glad that he is getting better. You are an amazing Mama. :)

  25. We thank God for his complete recovery. He has great things to do in the world. Keep giving him good love mama.
    Jesus Christ loves you

  26. oh man, I was trying to hold back the tears from the very first sentence! Poor baby! I can’t even imagine what you went through. I can’t even handle it when my two boys need shots:(
    your a strong mamma! Especially right now being pregnant!

  27. Thank you so much for sharing your story Ashley!! It had to be so incredibly hard to make that decision! But it sounds like everything is getting better and better because of it. Glad Lil W is doing so much better!

  28. Glad to hear your sweet little darling is doing ok now! It must have been hard!

  29. Aww, thats just adorable. <3
    So glad he's back to his normal self.
    Hehe, in early May I am going to be having my adenoids and tonsils be taken out. But I'm 14, so it should be quite a bit easier.

    Great post!

  30. Wow. This post made me tear up. I’m so thankful, though, that things are going better now. What a relief! :)

  31. gahhh, I read this last night before going to bed…It just broke my heart into little pieces – I can’t imagine going through all that with my little one… good job for hangin in there and being strong for him (even if it was just a cover in front of him, haha)… What sucks is that he will probably never remember that traumatic experience, but you & your hubby most definitely will…ugh! So glad to see that the surgery has helped him sleep much better now!!!

  32. I felt so compelled to write a comment and I almost never do. I so relate to your story, My 9yr old son had both his tonsils and adenoids removed this past November. It was one of the most difficult weeks of my parenting life. I was not prepared at all for the crying, screaming in pain, throwing up, high raging fever, not eating and the sleepless nights. I am happy to report that one week post surgery, he started to resemble his old self again. I too, had my tonsils out when I was five, and back then, we were kept in the hospital for an entire week. Now, I know why, as I was a nurse around the clock for my son. I feel guilty complaining about it, as so many parents and children go through much worse, but nonetheless, it was a tough, tough week, so I can completely relate with you. So glad to hear your son is on the mend.

  33. You are so strong. You had me in tears the whole way through. I am pretty sure I would be a mess from letting the doctors take my baby away till the very end. Its good to hear he is recovering and the end result is what you have been hoping for. Such a strong little boy, but an even stronger mama! You rock!

  34. I am so glad to hear that he is recovering now. I cannot imagine the pain you felt seeing him like that. I hope he continues to improve and that the next baby will be the best little sleeper ever because I think you all really deserve that!

  35. I am so happy that he is feeling better. Sorry that you had to go through that. It is so hard to see your child in pain and not know what to do to make them feel better.

  36. I got goosebumps all over my body when reading this. I bet words can’t even describe what this experience was like; you are absolutely amazing! Best wishes for health and happiness!

  37. You and your hubby are such great parents! So much strength and patience! Lil W is really lucky to have you both. Glad he has recovered and is sleeping better than before. Thanks for sharing your experience. Hopefully it’ll help other parents out there who have kids suffering from sleep apnea.

  38. I am so sorry to read about your post surgery week. I am so glad you had a happy ending and Lil W is feeling better and is sleeping better. I guess you never know how someone will react to going under or surgery. Just so you don’t feel alone…my 20 year old daughter had a similar reaction when her wisdom teeth were removed. We watched all these funny YouTube videos of kids acting silly when coming out of the anesthia. My daughter cried inconsolably, was shaking and was sick for hours after and wasnt herself for days. I felt as you did…this is not my child…why did I listen to her dentist and get her wisdom teeth removed?? It was not the reaction we were expecting. Her doctor said that is rare but some do have that kind of reaction. He did call me the next day and then again 2 days later to check on her.

    Aren’t we the lucky ones? At least you know now what to expect in the future…God willingly Lil W will not need more surgeries.

    Good luck…I feel as if you are over the worst part…only good things from now on.

    Tery

  39. Oh sweet friend! What a heart-wrenching experience for you! Between the sickness you’ve felt from being pregnant and then seeing you first baby not himself; I don’t know how you do it all! You such a strong an wonderful mother and Little W is so blessed to have such wonderful parents! So happy that everything turned out ok and that he’s now sleeping much more soundly.
    My man also has sleep apnea and with his type there is no solution. I totally understand the frustration!
    Love you!

    Tara

  40. Oh wow, crying for what you guys had to go through and grateful that God got you through it. I’m so happy that W is his beautiful self again.

  41. What a horrible experience! I am so glad he is starting to get back to normal. My first had a lot of sleep problems and was in and out of the hospital due to severe acid reflux which caused all sorts of problems. Every time we went home from the hospital she had a similar reaction like lil W. It was almost like she had PTSD. Thankfully she is almost 7, sleeps wonderfully and is doing much better! There is hope and your little one will sleep through the night I promise!!! :)

  42. I’m sure glad it is over but am very grateful we had the surgery done. I am also very grateful we live in a country that has incredible doctors and facilities. I am most grateful for my incredible wife who raises our little W with so much love and care. thanks LMM- love hubby

  43. Aw! Poor little guy! So heartbreaking he had such a tough time! But SO glad he’s getting better and things will be alright!

  44. OMG I cried while reading this. YOU ARE SO STRONG mama! Way to go. He’s a LUCKY boy.

  45. We had the SAME scenario after my son had strabismus surgery (for lazy eye) 2 years ago. The screaming, thrashing, etc. after surgery. The anesthesiologist looked at my husband and I and asked, “What’s WRONG with him?” I almost rang his neck. And then…..a year later when delivering my second son? Who came in to give me my epidural, but the SAME anesthesiologist!!!!!!!!! I almost died. And of course…..the epidural didn’t take this time. My heart goes out to you. Blessings on continued healing and good sleeping. I posted this about his surgery a year and a half ago on the year anniversary. http://thesestones.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/gratitude/
    Hang in!!!
    Christine Gough

  46. Praise God!! I am so happy that he made it through. So sorry you had to endure that horrible week, praying that things will continue to improve!

  47. oh gosh. well, praise the lord that it’s all alright now. that must make you all feel so much better :)

  48. So glad you made it through this nightmare- you are amazing for all you have endured. SO glad you are back… you’ve been missed! XO!

  49. We were in the hospital twice with my 2 year old daughter this winter so I know how scary hospitals can be! I couldnt control myself when they couldnt find a vein on her hand after trying repeatedly. I also have bad veins and no matter what they say, it hurts very much trying to insert the iv!!! I would ask only for the iv team, and even when they would come i would ask if there was anyone better. as a mom i have to stand up for my daughter’s rights. i hope your nightmare (literally and figuratively) is over now and your home is quiet and peaceful in anticipation of your new baby!

  50. God bless you and your family. I just wished my “baby” a Happy 49th birthday today. She was very ill and in the hospital for weeks when she was 4 and so my heart goes out to you all.

  51. His behavior may have been an adverse reaction to the pain medication (if he ended up taking any of it at home). When one of my kids was about his age I gave him some liquid tylenol with codeine after an injury. It made him climb the walls. He was so hyper it was crazy! Glad all is getting better now.
    Also, when my youngest was four years old he had his tonsils and adenoids removed. He also ended up with an iv in his foot. He wouldn’t eat or drink (or take pain meds) once we got home and he ended up back in the ER to get IV fluids and IV pain medication. It is hard having sick kiddos!

  52. Poor little guy. I have never heard of this happening.
    My two year old grandson had a terrible accident about a month ago. He ended up having plastic surgery that lasted one hour and 40 minutes to reconstruct his lip. Then 6 days later he had to have tubes in his ears……finally after 15 ear infections.
    They did a wonderful thing there. Instead of taking him from his parents, they came and took him a ride in a wagon. He didn’t have to look at his parents as he was leaving and have that fear. Then when he got into the operating room they slipped the little mask on quickly and he went to sleeP. I thought that the wagon was wonderful. Our little guy did not cry before his surgery. Had they done that with your baby maybe he wouldn’t have suffered so much.
    So glad that things are better. The zoo trip was the key…..I loved that he thanked you.
    (((((HUGS)))))

  53. oh ashley, what a strong momma you are! lil w is so very lucky. i was heartbroken for you reading this… but SO glad to hear that he is doing much, much better.

    side note, i don’t know how i was not following you on instagram. but i am now :) i’ve missed you in the blogging world :)

  54. Blargh I just burst into tears. I can’t imagine how horrible and stressful this must have been for you! My son hasn’t had to undergo surgery, but I fully understand the sudden anger and not sleeping that totally disrupts your world!

    And it is even harder to cope when you’re sleep deprived, grasping at straws. I’m so so so so so glad everything is back to normal for you!

  55. Our little boys sound SO much alike!! I could see my oldest doing this same thing if he had to go through something like that. I am so very glad to hear he is doing better – what an answer to prayer! And what perfect timing with baby #2 on the way :)
    xoxo

  56. Oh, I cried reading this because I can not even begin to imagine how difficult this must have been for you all. I am so happy to hear that he is feeling better and on the road to recovery. :)

  57. Bisous (kisses) to him and all your family.

  58. I’m so happy to hear that the surgery was successful and that you have your happy little boy back!! What a horrible experience. So glad it is behind you. Thank your for sharing this. Renee

  59. words are just not forming in my head, but just wanted you to know that you are still being prayed for…hugs

  60. I love that he watched Curious George. That’s exactly what it reminded me of. Curious George goes to the Hospital was my favorite episode when I was little (not really sure why?) But that’s what this reminded me of before you even said it. I’m so glad he’s doing better!

  61. We are having our sons tonsils and adenoids out next month for the same reasons, and now I am so nervous. He is 3.5 and I know it is the right decision, but hearing this puts a pit in my stomach. I am so sorry you had to endure that, and I am so glad he is well on his way. That is my prayer for our boy, and I hope that his sleepless nights are numbered.

  62. Tears in my eyes for both you and him…but SO glad things are starting to get better! Great job, Momma! You were there for him and took great care of him every step of the way!

  63. What wonderful news! Started crying while reading this. You always have such a way with words.

  64. Oh my goodness…that sounds like complete hell. :( I’m so sorry.
    Praying the the little guy is back to his normal smiling, sweet self – minus the apnea and plus lots of naps!
    Hang in there. The only constant when you have little ones is change. This, too, shall pass!

  65. Hailey stock says:

    Thank goodness for your blog because we know how the stock boys are…I never hear what is going on! Hope all is well let us know if you need anything xoxo

  66. Thank you for sharing this story. I cried just reading the part about telling your little guy that he was going in to surgery. The thought of telling my little 2 1/2 year old boy that just breaks my heart. You are an awesome momma.

  67. I found your blog through your hair posting on pinterest and I’m hooked. Having a 2.5 yr old and a 4 month old myself I cried nearly the whole way through this blog posting. I am so happy things are working out. I also started following you on twitter and would love it if you followed me or my blog. @trayzzr2

  68. Rebekah says:

    This story brought tears to my eyes… thank you for sharing the ups and downs of motherhood, you have such a beautiful family and spirit. Love to you all!
    xo

  69. Oh my, this is so sad, what a rough recovery! You are a very strong mama!

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  71. Theriesa B says:

    My son just had his adenoids removed exactly a week ago. He has been doing exactly what you were describing. Ive been so exausted and depressed over the situation I have been crying non-stop. I found this article at 4 AM after a very rough night and I can’t even begin to explain how much it has helped me. It gave me hope. I just wanted to say thank you!

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Trackbacks

  1. [...] You can read about Lil W’s week without a smile here. [...]

  2. [...] 8. This boy is embracing the neon trend. His teachers call him “Miami Vice”. 9.  His sleep apnea, officially GONE. Sleeping through the night, not so much. But I’ll take what I can get. 10. [...]

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